Hi guys and happy Tuesday! How were your weekends?? Whatever you did, I hope you had fun doing it!
Jumping into today’s post on something that’s been on my mind a lot lately.
You can’t do it all.
I feel like I struggle from the “I need to do everything and help everyone and be everywhere and accomplish this and that” syndrome. I touched on this a bit last week, but I put a whole lot of pressure on myself. I’ve always been that way since I was a little girl. I had to be the best. Whether that was at school, gymnastics; or later on when I took this mentality into eating and working out; I had to succeed at everything. Failure scared the crap out of me and I would do anything to avoid it.
Last week I was super emotional. I had a lot on my mind and all the pressure I was putting on myself took a toll on me. One thing I strongly emphasize on this blog is that I am not perfect in any way, shape, or form. I’m just a 19 year old girl who is sometimes super bitchy, cranky, emotional, stressed, etc. etc. And last week I feel like I felt all of those emotions. But I like to share what I got through, because I know someone out there some place in the world will relate. Sharing our struggles and talking about our hardships doesn’t make us weak or strange, it sheds light on what many are probably silently struggling with.
So going off of that, here are some things I have been feeling lately. I feel like sometimes I could be doing more to help others- more to help my friends struggling from eating disorders or could be reaching out to them more to check in on them. I feel like I’m not giving myself enough time to just relax and be. Last week I journaled for the first time since the beginning of September, and it was the first time I made room in my schedule to just write and take some time for self-care. And something that is hard for me to talk about- I feel like I have a hard time trusting the fact that my boyfriend actually loves me. Julia’s post on allowing ourselves to be loved really resonated with me. Sure, I preach self-love and self-care, I preach balance with food and exercise, I talk a whole lot about body image and food freedom, getting enough sleep, etc. etc. etc. That doesn’t mean that I don’t feel inadequate at times. That doesn’t mean that I don’t feel like a burden in the relationship I am currently in because of my past with mental health issues. It doesn’t mean that I feel fantastic and on top of the world at all times, or never worry, or get 8+ hours of sleep a night. It doesn’t mean any of those things.
Because I do feel inadequate at times and I know for a fact that I put lots and lots of pressure on myself. I know that I expect a lot out of myself and I have gotten SO much better in those aspects, but there is always room for improvement. I know for a fact I don’t get enough sleep sometimes, sometimes journaling/praying is the furthest thing to cross my mind, and I do cry and feel weak.
I can’t do it all, I can’t be it all, and I can’t expect myself to be superwoman. And neither can any of you.
All I can expect from myself is the best given the circumstances of the situation. As long as I am trying my best, that’s all I can do. And I know for a fact I can’t do everything and I can’t be perfect. I know it is okay to feel weak, to cry, to break down. That doesn’t make me any less of a person or any less of a blogger. It shows I am human. And I refuse to sit behind this computer screen to however many people read this blog and convince you all that I have zero struggles and my life is just rainbows and sunshine 24/7. But it isn’t, and I am grateful for that.
So this little bump in the road I had last week- this feeling that I had to do it all, all of the pressure I put on myself causing me to break down, and my emotions being scattered left and right taught me something. Each of our little struggles teach us something, that’s why we have to be grateful for them. Just like we are super thankful for the highs in our life, we have to be grateful for the lows. God has a plan, and we have to trust in that. Even if it sucks from time to time.
So what did I take from this little bump?
*Stop putting so much damn pressure on yourself to help every single person in the universe. You can only do so much. Sometimes people don’t want to be helped. Sometimes you just can’t get through to people, especially those struggling with eating disorders. You can only do so much.
*Yeah, life gets busy. But you still gotta take care of yourself. Journal. Pray. Watch Netflix. Listen to music. If you can’t do these things, it’s okay. But try and make an effort to do so.
*It’s okay to cry. You shouldn’t feel weak or embarrassed for doing so.
*I need to work on trusting others. I need to trust where I am in my relationship. I need to continue to trust that I am good enough and worthy of love.
*Sleep. Try and get some more. Or work on taking naps when you have the time.
*You don’t have to be this all-star superhero blogging girl who has no struggles whatsoever. Just because I have a blog on mental health doesn’t mean that I am not allowed to feel weak/stressed/sad/anxious.
*It’s okay to not have it together all the time. Life gets messy. That’s normal.
All I and all you can do is your best. And that’s all we need to do.
No questions today for you guys. But thanks for reading this little ramble of mine!
Any input on this/thoughts/etc, comment below because I love hearing what y’all have to say. 🙂
Have a happy Tuesday friends! And be sure to check out Emily’s blog for her take care of your temple Tuesday post. Glad I got to share some ways today that I am working on taking care of mine!
Have a great Tuesday guys! Love all of ya lotsssssss <3
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