What happened When I put my Appearance on Such a High Pedestal?

June 8, 2017 in Recovery

What happened when I put my appearance on such a high pedestal? 

A lot of things happened. My life was completely different than it is now. Focusing on my body, my weight, how I looked- that was what my world revolved around.

When I put the size of my body as the center of my world, I became unhappy.

Striving to always be thinner, to always watch the number on the scale get lower and lower- I could not be satisfied. I had this insatiable desire to shrink and shrink and shrink. Shrinking my body led to shrinking my happiness too.

When I valued my abs showing more than I valued time spent with family and friends, I became cranky.

Abs are made in the kitchen, right? Eating “clean” to maintain my abs led to frustration at family parties trying to find “clean” food, and a feeling of dread before hanging out with friends.

When I cared more about how I looked than about my relationships, my relationships began to dwindle away.

My “health” was my upmost priority- not the people in my life. I watched these relationships fade before my eyes, yet I saw my body becoming smaller and that was all that mattered in my eyes.

What happened when I put my appearance on such a high pedestal? 

I lost my sense of confidence, self-worth, connection, and energy for the world. The passion I once had in my heart became a passion for solely looking a certain way. I never felt good enough, and I never would. I though that by having my body and the way I look on such a high pedestal, people would have known I was serious about this whole health thing- I wanted to be known as the health nut, the fitness girl: and that’s it. I was skinnier than other girls, and I wanted attention for that. 


By putting my looks as something of such high importance, I forgot there was anything else to me. I just felt as if I was the skinny girl , forever defined by my looks. I only cared about my abs, I felt like other people only did too.. Would they actually care about my words? What else I offered to this earth? By putting my appearance on such a high pedestal, I lost other aspects of myself. I was my body, the food I ate, the workouts I did. And that was it.

So this is your Thursday reminder to stop putting how you look as the main priority of your life. Your identity does not fall in the food you eat or the workouts you do, you are far more than that.

Yes, you have a body. But you are not just your body. 

Search outside yourself, explore new passions, and let your body be your vehicle for this life: not something you are always trying to make smaller. You are enough- just as you are. Your self-worth does not- and will never- depend on how you look or how you weigh. Treat yourself with kindness and respect because you are beautiful and valuable.

Now tell me: 

Any thoughts on this or comments you have. 🙂

Happy Thursday guys!!

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  • Reply Stephanie June 8, 2017 at 1:52 pm

    Awesome! In our society which places such emphasis on how you look, how easy it is to fall into that trap. I saw on the internet “the most beautiful kid in the world” at 9 years old!!! How crazy is that. What about the total child, the total person, who is this child besides what she looks like?
    So I love this Alyssa, look inside yourself, it is hard to do but once done look at the happiness that is found!!!! Love you my dear daughter!

    • Reply Alyssa June 15, 2017 at 1:34 am

      Wow that is crazy. gahhhh! I love you mom!

  • Reply Emily June 8, 2017 at 1:57 pm

    So many bad things happen when I put my appearance on a high pedestal, and this was such a good reminder of that. <3
    Emily recently posted…I Just Want to Eat: It’s Food. Nourishment.My Profile

  • Reply kat June 8, 2017 at 9:21 pm

    This was literally me on every level, so I totally relate. Love your thoughts here girl, thank you so much for sharing <3
    I put myself on a pedestal for so many years – which is kind of ironic when I think about how much I degraded and hated myself. It isn't easy – sometimes I still find myself on a self-built alter – however I'm finding its much easier to recognize it now.
    kat recently posted…Thinking Out Loud #135My Profile

    • Reply Alyssa June 15, 2017 at 1:36 am

      thank you for reading my thoughts <3 It isn't easy to stop the self-hate process for sure... it is a work in progress

  • Reply Catherine @ A Cup of Catherine June 9, 2017 at 1:09 am

    Yes – I was so unhappy and a terror to be around when I was obsessed with my size and appearance. I’m so grateful that motherhood and other transformations led me to realize that LIFE is much more than a certain size or a 6-pack.
    Catherine @ A Cup of Catherine recently posted…Motherhood LatelyMy Profile

  • Reply Nancy Chen June 9, 2017 at 8:01 pm

    This is amazing as usual. Thanks for sharing. I totally agree – when I only cared about appearance, everything else kind of goes downhill.
    Nancy Chen recently posted…may favs + june goalsMy Profile

    • Reply Alyssa June 15, 2017 at 1:36 am

      i <3 you !! thank you for reading

  • Reply Alison @ Daily Moves and Grooves June 11, 2017 at 3:13 pm

    This always needs to be shouted from the mountaintops. Thank you for this, Lyss ♥︎
    Alison @ Daily Moves and Grooves recently posted…The Most Ice Cream I’ve Ever ConsumedMy Profile

    • Reply Alyssa June 15, 2017 at 1:36 am

      I love you <3 <3 thank you!

  • Reply Kristy from Southern In Law June 12, 2017 at 9:56 pm

    Yes, you have a body. But you are not just your body.

    I feel like every person needs to have this written right in the middle of every mirror in their house/school/work/whatever. Your body and your body image is not the be all and end all – it really means quite little in the grand scheme of things!
    Kristy from Southern In Law recently posted…Recipe: Secretly Healthy Chocolate Cake (Gluten Free & Vegan)My Profile

    • Reply Alyssa June 15, 2017 at 1:37 am

      yesss- we are NOT just our bodies!!

  • Reply Cora June 13, 2017 at 6:54 pm

    “I forgot there was anything else to me.” —- > When we grow up with experience after experience where our image and bodies have been what has given us attention, or when it is all that is spoken about (hello high school) it is so easy to forget, or seize to realize that there is more inside you to offer. Much more. It can be easy to not even realize the amazing qualities you possess, completely outside of anything to do with your body. And that people – the right people – will only care about these things.
    Thank you for this, Lyss.
    Cora recently posted…Week In Review: Soothe the SoulMy Profile

    • Reply Alyssa June 15, 2017 at 1:37 am

      That is so true that the right people will care about other things besides just our looks!!

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