My summer was in no way ordinary. And as I’m growing more into the human I’m supposed to be, I’m realizing I don’t like ordinary. I crave excitement. I long for new experiences and a chance to fill my brain with more knowledge. I have learned to embrace this part of me and to truly seek what is seeking me, as my favorite writer Rumi would say. I have heart that feels so intensely and a true zest for life. I’m learning to accept my fiery yet gentle spirit, and I truly attribute that to what I experienced this summer.
I honestly did not think yoga teacher training would really impact my life that much. I was just expecting to go in, get my certification, have fun, and come home. But this training awakened my spirit and brought about so many powerful emotions- more than I have ever felt sitting in any church. I definitely had my breakdowns while being there. Emotions flooded me and somedays I just wish I could have just turned the water off. I rubbed at old wounds and opened scars, I told my sad stories and I wept on my yoga mat as I felt past hurt escaping my body. What was so powerful is that every person in this group was in this journey together. How beautiful is that? Humans supporting other humans, helping each other keep our hearts light when we needed it the most and crying on each others shoulders when we felt our scars being torn apart. The community. Learning the yoga. Living the yoga. Awakening my spirit. Connecting with others. It was all part of this magical path I needed to travel on, and I am so grateful I stayed on that path. Yoga teacher training changed me for the better.
Since coming home from yoga teacher training, my life hasn’t been all magic. Transformations are tough for me. It was a challenge going from such an incredible place with like-minded people to home. But the thing is, we naturally adapt to change- and I did just that. I got back to my part time job at GNC and adjusted my life to one that was similar at yoga teacher training. Meditation, a yoga practice that felt good for my body, bringing crystals into my life, using my mala beads, journaling, reading… all the things that really made my soul feel good.
I find that when we get comfortable change always creeps up around the corner. This time for me, the change of heading back to school for my junior year of college. I have a lot of exciting things coming my way, and as I sit here at 11:02 p.m. listening to Coldplay I have nothing but extreme gratitude for this journey. The type that is just exploding from my heart and giving me all the feels. I always reiterate to people that this life I live is not perfect. You do not see the terrible anxiety I have at times, the negative thoughts that cloud my brain, the feelings of worthlessness that make my heart heavy. But I am human, and I am welcoming each and every part of me: even the parts I find unlovable at times. I am doing this whole life thing and clapping for my damn self, clapping for those times where I haven’t given myself any credit and clapping because I know I am enough.
To a summer of new challenges, laughter, growth, tears… and to a new semester rapidly approaching: one that will be full of more tears, laughter, stress, anxiety, joy, and blessings- I welcome you. I will trust in what you give me and stay mindful of how I handle things, my intentions, and the energy I bring into this world and into my own heart.
|| I. Am. That. I. Am. ||
“Don’t ever allow anything to disrupt your inner stillness. It’s not worth it. Life is so short as it is; so we must live each moment with peace in our hearts and happiness in our soul.”
Open to all the comments as always. Thank you for reading me and always sending love my way. Xoxo <3 Have an amazing weekend!!
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