Browsing Tag

recoveryisworthit

Early February & Fear

February 6, 2018 in Recovery

I’ve been planning for this month since September. And it’s finally here. It’s been here for 6 days now.

A lot has happened since September. I taught at a yoga fundraiser. I taught yoga in college. I laughed with my roommate and best friend and had so many great memories with her. I cried. I smiled. I had new people enter my life. I let go of some people. I turned 21. I quit my job at GNC. I finished the semester. I covered up an old tattoo with a new one.

If there’s something I’ve learned about myself over the past year, it’s that I don’t like being afraid of things. And the stubborn part of myself hates admitting that I am afraid. I usually do the things I am very scared of, just because I like the challenge. I did yoga teacher training by myself last summer and lived at the facility- something I was freaked out by but went and did it anyways. I’ve let new people into my life, another thing that would have provoked way more anxiety in the past. I think with being afraid of something and going to do that thing anyways comes a whole lot of growth. Getting out of your comfort zone = more growth.

I am afraid of going to New Zealand. I’m going to be put out of my comfort zone in so many ways. Flying alone, being in a new continent, meeting all new people, adjusting to a new time zone, going to a different university. It’s a lot. But I love that. I love that I know I’m going to be put in a place that will help me grow. And I will make sure to remember that, even when I’m texting my mom saying I miss her or that I’m overwhelmed. Because I know I will have those moments, I’m human; and I can’t run away from my humanness.

With fear, you have to feel it. Soak it all in. And then you have to do that thing anyways. I remember back to my gymnast days when I was scared of doing a new skill. Or I was afraid of competing a routine. I didn’t have a choice but to do it. So I’m taking that approach with this study abroad experience. Because, “The beautiful thing about fear is, when you run to it, it runs away.” Conquering what we never thought we could is an amazing feeling, realizing the fire that lies within you to climb up these mountains and do what you didn’t think you could is even more-so. I know that two years ago, an experience like this would overwhelm me to no end. SO many unknowns, things I can’t control, being away from home, not having any friends with me…. but now, I have a different outlook. I know that the fears I don’t face simply become my limits.

"The beautiful thing about fear is, when you run to it, it runs away." (Robin Sharma)

Keep running towards the thing that scares you…. keep stepping outside your comfort zone. I know you can all do this! And if it seems daunting, something I remind myself and want to remind you all is to BREATHE. One foot in front of the other and just BREATHE. Stressing and worrying about what you don’t know and what is coming will only take you away from the present moment.


Thank you for reading. <3

Tell me, how do you conquer fear? 

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Letting Go & Having Room for More

January 29, 2018 in Recovery

“When you let go, you create space for better things to enter your life.” 

This is the mantra as I head into my last full week at home. Let go, release bad energy, and create space for better things to come.

But letting go is hard. Like letting go of thoughts that have been engrained within you for so long.

->Ex: the thought that feeling bloated makes me less worthy of nourishment.

I know this thought is irrational, but it pops up from time to time. Instead of ignoring it, shoving it down, pretending like it’s not there… I chose to journal about it. Put it on my blog. And acknowledge it for what it is. By bringing it to the surface, I am able to let it go. Letting it go may result in feeling uncomfortable emotions. Maybe crying. Sadness. Worry. But in letting it go, we have more room for attracting goodness in our life.

->Ex of this from yesterday: I am feeling anxious without a lot of structure in my life. I am not in school and am not working right now. This is causing me to feel stagnant and like I’m not making great strides in my life.

I have been suppressing this emotion for the past two weeks. It has made its way out through frustration with others and being short with family members. But today, I finally sat down and took the time to acknowledge it. I feel lazy lately. I feel like I’m not doing enough. I expressed this verbally. I took time to reach out to others to share how I was feeling. I let myself feel, even though it led to tears. But in letting myself feel it all out, I am able to fully release it.

In feeling all these feelings, I am able to let them go. And in letting go, I am able to cultivate abundance in my life. I have already seen this in so many areas of my life. I have seen that when I don’t put all my energy into restricting my meals, I have more energy for other things. I am able to bring more into my life. When I stopped putting such immense pressure on myself to get perfect grades and let go of the belief that I had to get all A’s, I felt a weight off my shoulders… letting go of something that no longer served me allowed me to have more time for the things that did serve me. Like more self-care, putting time into relationships that made me feel good, and getting more in touch with myself and what I need.

Think: how much energy do you put into thoughts and actions that don’t serve you? Imagine all the amazing things that would come if you just let GO, if you just put that energy into those self-destructive thoughts and behaviors into something more productive and meaningful. Think: think of ALL the abundance you could generate in your life if you let go to create more space for goodness in your life. This is my goal lately. Let go of what doesn’t serve me to have more space and energy for what does.

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What can you let go of in your life right now? 

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Wednesday Reminders

December 20, 2017 in Recovery

HELLO. I am (almost) done with school! One more paper to submit today by 1:30 pm. Then freedom and onto bigger things next semester, like studying abroad! Just wanted to pop in today to share some important reminders with you to keep you on track with your self-love journey.

1.for when you’re feeling stuck and down…

it’s just how life works you know? one moment you’re on the ground crying, the next you’re at a beach moving with the sound of the waves, a cold drink in your hand and a fresh watermelon by your side. these moments- the crying on the floor at 3 am moments. the staying in bed until 2 pm curled in a ball because the world is crumbling and you are losing any bit of stability you had left. all of these moments matter. but somehow we are able to pick ourselves out of that bed and open our curtains when the light seemed so foreign to us. we are able to make it to that beach and drink that drink and savor every bit of that watermelon. it’s the beauty of life. the beauty of strength. 

2. for when you’re struggling to love your body…

women: you do not have to be smaller. you do not have to look liker her. you do not have to do crunches until you get rug burn on your neck and you do not have to rip yourself apart every time you look in the mirror. you do not need to be embarrassed if your hips are “big.” let those hips move freely my friend and take up as much damn space as needed. 

3. for when you feel stunted with your growth…

“You’ll be different. You’ll be different from the self that you were. You’re constantly growing.”

4. for when you’re feeling overwhelmed…

get grounded. when your sitting or standing, actually feel how your grounded into the earth. you are here on this planet, you are grounded and strong.

5. for when things seem complicated…

“in thinking, keep to the simple. in conflict, be fair and generous. in governing, don’t try to control. in work, do what you enjoy. in family life, be completely present.” -Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

Wishing you all a happy Wednesday. <3 xoxo

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Repairing Broken Relationships

December 8, 2017 in Recovery

My eating disorder destroyed my relationships. It left me numb, angry, depressed, and alone. My eating disorder did not let me have any companions besides the ED itself. It was too exhausting. Other people ruined ED and I’s relationship. They got in the way of food rules. They did not eat how I did. They took away from workout time. They disrupted my strict food routine. In my eating disorder, it was just me and the disorder doing “life,” or at the time what seemed like fully living, by ourselves.

The relationships broken hurt me, yet I was to sick to let that motivate me on my journey towards healing. The relationship with my parents slipped away from my fingertips, and that was the one that hurt the most.

Meal time was a war zone in our household. My parents, two of the people whom gave me so much love and light, become enemies in my eyes. They wanted to feed me, something my disorder and I did not want in the slightest. I began to see my parents as horrible human beings just because they were trying to nourish me. They spent years talking to my eating disorder instead of Alyssa, and I can’t imagine how exhausting and frustrating that must have been.

I never thought I’d be able to repair this relationship. When things were bad in my household, they weren’t just a few raised voices here and there. It was tears, thrown yogurts, yelling, and days went without speaking to give my family members the silent treatment. I saw very little hope in living a normal life again and having my relationships, especially the one with my Mom and Dad, be fixed.

When I went into treatment on my own terms and willingly admitted to my mother that this disorder was suffocating me, I began to feel the chains of this disorder loosen. I began to feel something besides extreme anger and frustration, and it was an incredibly powerful moment for me. Fast forward to when I was out of treatment and to the start of a new year where I was actively trying to shove my eating disorder to the curb, I had more powerful moments like that. And I was beginning to see that without my eating disorder, I could feel my Mother’s love. And because my eating disorder wasn’t holding me hostage and letting me simply feel, I was able to reciprocate that love back to her. Fast forward a few months, I was able to do the same thing for my Father. When I stopped caring so damn much about how many calories I was eating and if I ate too much etc. etc. etc., I could care about others, and others could have more emotions towards me besides worry and fear; for they saw that I was getting ahold of my life and this disorder. I was working towards freedom.

I apologized to my parents several times. They apologized to me. There was tremendous forgiveness: of myself, of my parents… forgiveness that my parents had to grasp for themselves and of me. Trust had to be earned that I would not slip back into ED’s ways: both on my end and my parent’s. With time, this all flowed together. With time, I began to realize how much love I had in my heart that I wanted to share with others. This emotion had been taken from me for so many years while living in my illness, and I was so happy to spread it. My friendships returned: both old and new, my brother and I became closer, and my parents and I were able to have a wonderful, healthy, loving relationship despite all that we had gone through on this journey of healing together.

Time heals all wounds. But first, you need to actively work on healing your own.

Seek help: for yourself, knowing that when you are your best self, you can give so much more to others and have stronger relationships. Let go of your eating disorder. Soften. You will see how when you let go of ED, you will regain back these connections you thought were long gone.

Find some fight in your soul. An ED will not take all connections and healthy relationships from you if you don’t let it.

Have a blessed weekend friends! Hope you do something kind for yourself and spend time with the people who make you smile. xoxo 

Post Thanksgiving Reminders

November 24, 2017 in Recovery

Yesterday was a lovely day. My family and I went on a beautiful nature walk, relaxed, and went to dinner at this yummy place. It was so nice to just chill and be present in the moment.

I know Thanksgiving is a challenging time for anyone recovering from an eating disorder. I know the Holidays can seem daunting in general. I know the day after Thanksgiving can seem overwhelming. I understand these feelings. I wanted to give you all some reminders post-Thanksgiving to keep yourself on course with your self-love journey.

  1. What you ate yesterday does not dictate what you eat today. You need food today. Nourish yourself. Nourish your body. Nourish your soul.
  2. It’s okay if you feel a little bloated today. The bloat will pass. It always does. Remind yourself this: the bloat always passes, but the memories you made on Thanksgiving will always be with you. Hold that close to your heart. The bloat fades away but the memories last forever. 
  3.  Do not kill yourself in the gym today. Do not force your body to do any movement if you don’t want to. You do not have to run 5 miles today. You do not have to do anything if that’s what feels best for you. Do not use movement as a form of punishment.
  4. Diet talk will be around you. It’s inevitable. Focus on you and your personal journey. Do not engage in this talk. Do not let this talk dictate your actions. You know what’s best for you. Just because someone is saying they need to go on a diet does NOT mean you do. YOU know what you need, and you do not need a diet.
  5. Do not fall in the “get back on track” mentality. You never “fell off” the track. You just ate a Thanksgiving meal. That’s it! No need to shame yourself for that and fall victim to the “get back on track” thinking. Keep doing what you usually do: listening to your body, being gentle with yourself, and honoring what you need.
  6.  Stop worrying! Take a deep breath. You got this. Keep filling your heart with love for YOURSELF and stop wasting energy on disordered thoughts around food and self-hatred. Let those thoughts flow out of your brain.

Need some extra support today?

Read these posts!

-> You don’t need to get “back on track”

-> Food is just Food

-> Your Diet is not the Catalyst to Happiness

-> Bloating 

Sending you all love, wishing you peace, and hoping you had a great Holiday with loved ones!

Xoxo

Lyss<3

Let Go

October 23, 2017 in Recovery

“There is peace in surrender.” 

On the 20 years I’ve been on this planet, I’ve learned that in creating more peace in my life, I’ve had to let go of what was hurting me. My eating disorder, toxic relationships, activities, sports, unhealthy coping mechanisms, etc. I get asked a lot how I overcame certain things, more specifically, my eating disorder and depression. Sometimes I struggle in formulating a great response, because there was no 4 step plan that I followed and felt automatically cured. A lot of my healing came in truly abandoning what was generating the most pain and suffering in my life.

A lot of us with eating disorders or mental illnesses don’t understand the concept of “softening.” Anorexia made me very hard, it made my edges sharp and left me with a constant itch to control every situation. Everything I ate, every workout I did… this is what I was always thinking about. I held on tightly to my love for restricting calories and purging my food through laxatives and overexercise, because it’s what felt easy for me. This is how I coped with the unknown of life, with the feelings that were not so pretty, with the anxieties that clouded my head. When we find a coping skill, we cling onto it: and this is what I did with my eating disorder- to the point that this disorder became who I was. What happened in my brain that ultimately led to a shift in how I was living my life? I realized what I was doing was not living. It was surviving. And from that point forward, I softened and let go. Was it a straight, easy path in letting go? Absolutely not. And I will never put that message out on the Internet or Instagram that my journey has’t been tough. Because it has been- it’s been messy and confusing, for losing the one thing that you thought was a part of you… losing your one coping skill… that’s challenging. But with inner strength, outside support, and just realizing it is so worth it to truly let go, you will find that peace in surrendering to this disorder.

Depression, on the other hand, made me numb. It left me with the inability to feel anything but sadness. I gripped onto the numb feeling, and felt guilt when any bit of happiness passed through me. I did not “deserve” that feeling like others did, and my mind left me convinced of that. With depression came unhealthy coping skills like sleeping too much, crying- a lot, isolating myself, and self-harming. These coping skills were what felt comfortable for me at the time. I let my depression harden me, make me weak, and leave me in a crippling state of sadness. It is what I knew, and it is how I thought my life was supposed to be. The same shift happened in my brain just as it did with my eating disorder. I realized what I was doing was not living. It was surviving. So again, I let go. I let go and in doing so realized other ways to cope with life’s difficulties that were far healthier than what depression gave me. I forgave myself for what this illness did to me, I did not rush my healing process, and I ultimately realized that strength did not come from holding onto my eating disorder or depression: what made me the strongest human came in letting go and surrendering. 

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“Letting go: being courageous to let go of things that make you feel bad and no longer serve you. /letting go creates space for something better/.” 

What are you going to let go of today? How are you going to soften? 

xoxo

lyss

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Women’s Retreat Talk

October 16, 2017 in Recovery

Hi guys! If you follow me on Instagram (blissful_lyss29) you’ll know I had the gift of leading a women’s interfaith spirituality retreat. I also had the gift of teaching yoga and sharing a speech I wrote on nurturing seasons in our life. I wanted to share it with you in hopes that some of you would connect with it as well!


 

After looking at the evaluations from last years retreat, there were a lot of requests to talk more about self-love, body acceptance, and confidence. After seeing this, I was like “yes this is the stuff I LOVE to talk about.” If you don’t know, I do a lot of work in all these areas through blogging and Instagram and talk a lot about self-love and embracing the body you are in. These topics hold a very special place in my heart.

So I am honestly thrilled to be giving this talk on nurturing seasons today. I think that in life we can find our dharma, or purpose, through what has hurt us the most. And I feel like that is very true in my own life.

The word nurture means to “care for and encourage the growth and development of.” The first thing that comes to mind for me is how we so lovingly nurture a young child. We feed it well, we make sure it gets enough rest, we never say any mean words to it, we are always so gentle with it. There are no actions of cruelty against this young child. We would never neglect it and leave it without care. But the thing is, we so easily do that to ourselves. We forget to treat ourselves with love and we are shy to appreciate who we are. We think we don’t have enough “time” to practice acts of self-love. We are caught in the trend of saying cruel things about ourselves and our bodies. We fight the natural shape we are supposed to be in and try to mold our bodies into what society deems is “beautiful.”

Women spend so much of their lives trying to take up less space, but why? We were given this space on the universe, we might as well own it and stand tall- feet grounded into the earth, our home and the place where we were meant to be. When we are trying to take up less space, we aren’t nurturing ourselves. We aren’t caring for ourselves, we aren’t loving ourselves. I spent years trapped in a terrible mental illness- anorexia nervosa- where I was constantly on a mission to take up less space, to be “less.” When I was 17 years old I realized this was not how I wanted to live my life anymore. Years beyond years of trying to be less, did I realize that less was not more. I deserved more than a less than life.

I live my life a lot differently now than I did in my high-school years. I have finally learned to love my body. And in loving our bodies doesn’t come days where we don’t feel the best about ourselves- I have those days. Those days just make us human. But in loving my body I have found greater appreciation for all it can do. It allows me to walk from class to class. It gives me the ability to climb mountains and teach yoga classes. It allows me to inhale all of the beauty of this world, it lets me dance with my friends and walk my dogs into trails surrounded by nothing but green. In loving my body I have grown so much gratitude for it. The years I spent abusing it, the years I did anything but nurture it… now I have learned to cherish it and treat myself with the utmost respect. For I deserve that, and so does my body.

In nurturing myself, I have grown to only plant kind words into my head, and to water the words that I know beautiful flowers will come from. I spent so many years planting toxic thoughts into my brain, watching flowers die day in and day out. Now I know better. When I plant positive thoughts about myself and body into my brain… even when I may not believe them,  I know that the most beautiful plants will sprout for positive thoughts carry enough power to grow an entire garden.

I value self-care, and it’s something I will always tell people to spend more time doing. We cannot pour from an empty cup. In doing acts of self love and care, we give ourselves the chance to refill our cups. For when our cups are full, we can pour to others. I never understood the topic of self care. It seemed selfish and like a waste of time. But when I realized that I am so worthy of devoting this time to myself during the time to replenish my soul, my life changed: my head became clearer, my soul felt at ease, and I felt a greater sense of peace. Self care for me is through journaling, writing- poetry, blogging, my thoughts; yoga- as a spiritual practice to connect me closer to my innermost self and transcend my ego, using crystals as a healing source or meditating, rejuvenating my soul in nature though walking, hiking, or spending time outside just in silence doing absolutely nothing but listening.

A few years back, I read this quote while on Pinterest. It struck a chord with me, and I will never forget it: “and I said to my body. softly. ‘I want to be your friend.’ it took a long breath and replied, ‘I have been waiting my whole life for this.’” Nurture yourself. Your body needs your love and care. Your mind and soul are craving it, your body wants to be your best friend. Have the most beautiful love story be with yourself- in the way you treat yourself, in the way you live life wholeheartedly, in the way you love and accept every layer of your being.

And to end with two poems; one of my favorite poems by Rupi Kaur, an incredibly talented writer you probably all know, and a poem I wrote myself.

“the universe took its time on you

crafted you precisely

so you could offer the world

something distinct from everyone else

so when you doubt

how you were created

you doubt an energy greater than us both” -RK

 

I quieted the echoes of voices that told me I was a body of imperfections.

I began to realize these imperfections made me real-and I would not let these imperfections become insecurities.

The pain sculpted in my bones and heart was replaced with the utmost appreciation for myself

How wonderful it was to be overflowing with love for every fiber of my being


Thank you guys for reading this. Hoping one day in the future I could share these kinds of things with you all in person!!

Thinking of you all as you spring into a new week and sending you nothing but good vibes and love. Happy Monday!

xoxo. <3 

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Listen to your Pain

October 9, 2017 in Recovery

“These pains that you feel are messengers. Listen to them. Turn them into sweetness.”- Rumi 

Part of the human experience is facing pain. What’s funny to me? We all try to run away from it. I know a majority of my readers have dealt with pain and suffering in their lives thus far. Through depression, anxiety, and my eating disorder; pain hit me in the sharpest, cruelest way.

When I first started to feel pain and sadness through my eating disorder, I ignored it. When I first started to feel depressed, I told everyone I was “fine.”

The universe was sending these signs of pain as a messenger, but I was not listening. I did not know what to do but simply let the pain wash over my body. But obviously, pain and suffering can only run its course for so long.

I think in life we have breaking points. I know I had mine. And I am very grateful that I finally learned to listen to pain and turn them into sweetness. What do I mean by that? The pain that I was feeling through my eating disorder I turned into sweetness and sought help. Through lots of treatment, hard work, and dedication, I was able to overcome that battle. The overwhelming sense of sadness and hopelessness I felt with my depression was turned into sweetness when I realized that I am so worthy of living this life genuinely happy and I would do whatever it took to get there. Treatment, tears, hard-work, frustration, confusion, therapy… I listened to my pain and I ended up at this point. And with this work, I turned pain into sweetness. For my life now is something I consider pretty sweet. Not perfect by any means, but a life that I certainly love.

If a relationship is causing you pain- listen to that pain and LEAVE. If a mental illness iscausing you pain, let this pain be your messenger to go get help and talk to someone. Pain hurts and aches but without it we would not have sweetness. We need the bitterness in this life to be brought sweetness.

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“The world gives you so much pain and here you are making gold out of it.” 

Make gold out of your pain. Let it fuel your fire to live a wholehearted life- one free from self-hate, toxic thoughts, food controlling your life, exercise running you into the ground, anxiety keeping you from enjoying the things you love… let the hurt guide you to joy and love. When something is causing you hurt and suffering, realize that you carry all the power to let that thing go. The human heart and soul are so incredibly strong- we think our struggles in this life can shatter them into a million pieces, but they don’t; for the human heart and soul is resilient- just like us.

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“What hurts you blesses you. Darkness is your candle.” -Rumi 

Your light is waiting to shine and sparkle into the world, turn on that switch. The universe has great things in store for you… listen to your pain, embrace the arduous journey that comes to a life of sweetness, and let your darkness be your candle knowing that YOU are strong enough to keep this fire going.

Anything on your mind today… share in the comments!  Thank you guys for reading and happy Monday <3 

xoxo. <3 

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Staying Rooted in Recovery

October 6, 2017 in Recovery

When looking at my recovery from my eating disorder, I’ve definitely gone through seasons where thing have been a bit easier on my brain, and thing have been a bit tougher. Do I consider myself fully recovered? Yes. Yes in the sense that I do not use behaviors anymore, and I haven’t for a LONG time. But there are things I am not perfect with, and I attribute that to simply being human. I still carry negative thoughts about myself from time to time, sometimes I don’t have all “high quality” thoughts around food and exercise, and there are days that I struggle getting  fully in touch with my intuition in aspects of food and exercise. Do I think full recovery is possible? It depends what you define full recovery as. I don’t think it’s possible to make all of these thoughts go away, and like I’ve said before, I do not think it is remotely possible to go back to the life before your eating disorder. If you define full recovery as a life free from all bad body image days& all worries about your body/food/exercise thrown out the window, then I don’t think that’s possible. But I DO think full recovery is possible in the sense that you can live a life where food, exercise, and body image does not control you!! I 10000% believe that is possible and that’s why I consider myself fully recovered from my eating disorder: these things don’t derail me in living my life!

There are certain things I check in with to make sure I am rooted in my recovery.

  1. Who I am following on Instagram. This is HUGE! Unfollow people that will trigger you. Personally, I do not like following fitness accounts, health obsessed accounts, or the new blend of “fitness ED recovery” accounts. Don’t feel guilty to unfollow people who are holding you back on your journey.
  2. What is your intention? What is your intention behind a workout? Is your intention to go because you truly want to, or to go because you feel like you “should”? Is your intention to get that salad because your body truly wants vegetables or just because you’ll feel bad if you have that sandwich and potato chips? Keep your intention aligned with your values. 
  3. How are you talking about yourself? Keep the thoughts that you plant into your brain positive ones. Toxic thoughts do not bring about good behavior or good feelings. Sometimes lying to yourself on a bad day and repeating a mantra you may not fully believe at that time can make such a big difference.
  4. Are you fully listening to your body? Eating when hungry, sleeping that extra half hour instead of squeezing in a workout, choosing to do yoga over a more intense workout because that’s what your body is craving, spending time for self-care when your soul needs it instead of taking that time to go to the gym, etc.  Our bodies tell us cues: listen to them.
  5. Am I nourishing my soul? Doing the things that keep me truly happy: yoga, writing, reading, getting outside in nature, surrounding myself with the humans who bring me beautiful energy. Nourishing our bodies AND our souls is so essential for a happier life.

Stay grounded and rooted in your journey, friends. 

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*believe, always.*

Have a lovely long weekend beautiful creatures!! 

xoxo. <3 

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This Space Right Now

September 8, 2017 in About Me / College / Recovery

I can never force a blog post or an Instagram. That’s just not me. Just like I can never force a feeling or force myself to like something/someone. My life is not based off force: it’s based off authenticity. Creating a space that my heart thrives in, living a life of ease. Forcing does not produce the magic: an open heart and embracing what’s real does. 

This blog means so much to me, and so does my Instagram. The content of my posts have changed and how much I post a week has changed as well. Just like a river I flow through each season of life, and instead of forcing something that doesn’t feel good to me, I let the river flow. But everything that I do write, everything I do put out into the world comes from all crevices of my heart. I put a lot of value into that. 

This space right now in my life is different than it was a month ago, a year ago, two years ago. This space now is one that’s inviting more growth in. One where I have incredible friends who challenge my old ways: who tell me to get that cookie. Sleep in an extra hour. Check in with my intentions behind doing things. Stop talking poorly of someone who puts a bad taste in my mouth. These humans provoke growth and radiate so much love into my life. 

This space right now is allowing me to share so many laughs and genuine smiles with my roommate/best friend. A friend who grounds me, listens to me, supports me. Always bringing me back to the beauty that is human connection. 

This space is going to be getting busier. With yoga teaching starting Monday, as well as meetings for a women’s retreat I’m helping lead; the pace will be speeding up a bit. And I’m going to need to remind myself to pause and recenter. Refocus, breathe, and bring myself back to the present moment. 

This space is not perfect. It gets cluttered and oh so messy. 

This space here on the Internet doesn’t get as many views as it did last year, or the space I have on Instagram doesn’t have as many followers as others; but I’m doing what I love. “I’m becoming fluid in choosing me.” Choosing what feels authentic in the moment and allowing myself to write/post/do what makes ME happy. 

This space is still one of singleness. Doing my life without a male by my side. Something I will talk about more down the line, but something I am still working on: not settling for another human- for I am already whole as is. I am a complete puzzle, and everyday I’m working on feeling that way. Not running from the loneliness that used to terrify me and instead running towards the confidence and fierceness that’s beginning to flow through my veins. 

This space is one of vulnerability, laughter, change, love, smiles, tears, anger, frustration, friendships, family, authenticity, and adventure. I am blessed to be able to take it all in with every single inhale. 

comments always welcomed and encouraged 🙂 hope you all had a lovely week: drop a highlight of it below if you’d like! 

Xoxo, 

Lyss 

connect with me: 

insta/twitter/pinterest: blissful_lyss29 

tumblr: lysslickingthespoon

facebook: Blissful Lyss 

YouTube: Alyssa Cristadoro 

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