Browsing Tag

anorexiarecovery

Repairing Broken Relationships

December 8, 2017 in Recovery

My eating disorder destroyed my relationships. It left me numb, angry, depressed, and alone. My eating disorder did not let me have any companions besides the ED itself. It was too exhausting. Other people ruined ED and I’s relationship. They got in the way of food rules. They did not eat how I did. They took away from workout time. They disrupted my strict food routine. In my eating disorder, it was just me and the disorder doing “life,” or at the time what seemed like fully living, by ourselves.

The relationships broken hurt me, yet I was to sick to let that motivate me on my journey towards healing. The relationship with my parents slipped away from my fingertips, and that was the one that hurt the most.

Meal time was a war zone in our household. My parents, two of the people whom gave me so much love and light, become enemies in my eyes. They wanted to feed me, something my disorder and I did not want in the slightest. I began to see my parents as horrible human beings just because they were trying to nourish me. They spent years talking to my eating disorder instead of Alyssa, and I can’t imagine how exhausting and frustrating that must have been.

I never thought I’d be able to repair this relationship. When things were bad in my household, they weren’t just a few raised voices here and there. It was tears, thrown yogurts, yelling, and days went without speaking to give my family members the silent treatment. I saw very little hope in living a normal life again and having my relationships, especially the one with my Mom and Dad, be fixed.

When I went into treatment on my own terms and willingly admitted to my mother that this disorder was suffocating me, I began to feel the chains of this disorder loosen. I began to feel something besides extreme anger and frustration, and it was an incredibly powerful moment for me. Fast forward to when I was out of treatment and to the start of a new year where I was actively trying to shove my eating disorder to the curb, I had more powerful moments like that. And I was beginning to see that without my eating disorder, I could feel my Mother’s love. And because my eating disorder wasn’t holding me hostage and letting me simply feel, I was able to reciprocate that love back to her. Fast forward a few months, I was able to do the same thing for my Father. When I stopped caring so damn much about how many calories I was eating and if I ate too much etc. etc. etc., I could care about others, and others could have more emotions towards me besides worry and fear; for they saw that I was getting ahold of my life and this disorder. I was working towards freedom.

I apologized to my parents several times. They apologized to me. There was tremendous forgiveness: of myself, of my parents… forgiveness that my parents had to grasp for themselves and of me. Trust had to be earned that I would not slip back into ED’s ways: both on my end and my parent’s. With time, this all flowed together. With time, I began to realize how much love I had in my heart that I wanted to share with others. This emotion had been taken from me for so many years while living in my illness, and I was so happy to spread it. My friendships returned: both old and new, my brother and I became closer, and my parents and I were able to have a wonderful, healthy, loving relationship despite all that we had gone through on this journey of healing together.

Time heals all wounds. But first, you need to actively work on healing your own.

Seek help: for yourself, knowing that when you are your best self, you can give so much more to others and have stronger relationships. Let go of your eating disorder. Soften. You will see how when you let go of ED, you will regain back these connections you thought were long gone.

Find some fight in your soul. An ED will not take all connections and healthy relationships from you if you don’t let it.

Have a blessed weekend friends! Hope you do something kind for yourself and spend time with the people who make you smile. xoxo 

Post Thanksgiving Reminders

November 24, 2017 in Recovery

Yesterday was a lovely day. My family and I went on a beautiful nature walk, relaxed, and went to dinner at this yummy place. It was so nice to just chill and be present in the moment.

I know Thanksgiving is a challenging time for anyone recovering from an eating disorder. I know the Holidays can seem daunting in general. I know the day after Thanksgiving can seem overwhelming. I understand these feelings. I wanted to give you all some reminders post-Thanksgiving to keep yourself on course with your self-love journey.

  1. What you ate yesterday does not dictate what you eat today. You need food today. Nourish yourself. Nourish your body. Nourish your soul.
  2. It’s okay if you feel a little bloated today. The bloat will pass. It always does. Remind yourself this: the bloat always passes, but the memories you made on Thanksgiving will always be with you. Hold that close to your heart. The bloat fades away but the memories last forever. 
  3.  Do not kill yourself in the gym today. Do not force your body to do any movement if you don’t want to. You do not have to run 5 miles today. You do not have to do anything if that’s what feels best for you. Do not use movement as a form of punishment.
  4. Diet talk will be around you. It’s inevitable. Focus on you and your personal journey. Do not engage in this talk. Do not let this talk dictate your actions. You know what’s best for you. Just because someone is saying they need to go on a diet does NOT mean you do. YOU know what you need, and you do not need a diet.
  5. Do not fall in the “get back on track” mentality. You never “fell off” the track. You just ate a Thanksgiving meal. That’s it! No need to shame yourself for that and fall victim to the “get back on track” thinking. Keep doing what you usually do: listening to your body, being gentle with yourself, and honoring what you need.
  6.  Stop worrying! Take a deep breath. You got this. Keep filling your heart with love for YOURSELF and stop wasting energy on disordered thoughts around food and self-hatred. Let those thoughts flow out of your brain.

Need some extra support today?

Read these posts!

-> You don’t need to get “back on track”

-> Food is just Food

-> Your Diet is not the Catalyst to Happiness

-> Bloating 

Sending you all love, wishing you peace, and hoping you had a great Holiday with loved ones!

Xoxo

Lyss<3

Apologize to Yourself

November 13, 2017 in Recovery

I think a lot. It’s who I am. I’m a thinker. Sometimes that’s great, sometimes that’s bad. But I embrace it regardless.

One thing I think a lot about is how we treat ourselves. The way I have treated myself is definitely a valid reason for why I reflect so much on this topic, but also I see many other people treating themselves so poorly. And it really does hurt my heart.

Whether it’s negative self-talk, falling victim to an eating disorder, letting the mirror dictate how you feel, comparing yourselves to others, self-harming, pushing yourself day-in and day-out with excessive exercise, or not accepting yourself for who you truly are; all of these actions are actions of cruelty against the self.

Think how many bad things you have said in regards to your body. Maybe you’re ashamed of it. Ashamed of how you look. Or maybe you just simply hate your body and can find no appreciation for it, because it is not “thin enough” or “toned enough.” And when you’re getting caught in this thought cycle, have you ever once just said, “I am sorry, body.” For your body is not something you should be ashamed of. How could you carry an abundance of hatred for something that has taken you through life thus far, allows you to breath, and pumps blood throughout your body? Your body, it is not bad nor has it ever been bad. And just because you have some belly rolls and stretch marks on your thighs does not qualify it to be bad. So please, apologize to your body. Your body is an unappreciated miracle.

Think of how many destructive things you have done to your body. Restricting. Purging. Self-harm. Laxative abuse. Overexercise. You have harmed yourself. You have hurt your body. You have hurt something that works relentlessly to keep you alive. Give your body an apology for that. For the destructive behaviors you have done against it. It never asked to be treated that way. Your body never deserved those acts of harm.

We are so hard- on ourselves, on our bodies. I see so many individuals go on in this life hating themselves. But hate is heavy, and we must let it go. 

“Be melting snow. Wash yourself of yourself.” -Rumi

We must wash ourselves of our own love, even if we feel like it’s impossible to find. We must stop treating our bodies with such cruelty. We must apologize to ourselves for the hate we projected onto ourselves. We never deserved that hate. Our bodies are the one piece of the universe we’ve been given- how amazing is that? We must be softer with ourselves friends. We are enough. Our bodies are crafted so wonderfully. We do not need to hurt them.

You are so whole and complete as you are. It’s time to just give yourself a hug, apologize to your body, soften, and let go. 

“You are a divine being. You matter, you count. You come from realms of unimaginable power and light.”

Give yourself a hug today friends. Let your light shine. You are SO incredibly enough. Wishing you all a happy Monday. <3 xoxo

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Let Go

October 23, 2017 in Recovery

“There is peace in surrender.” 

On the 20 years I’ve been on this planet, I’ve learned that in creating more peace in my life, I’ve had to let go of what was hurting me. My eating disorder, toxic relationships, activities, sports, unhealthy coping mechanisms, etc. I get asked a lot how I overcame certain things, more specifically, my eating disorder and depression. Sometimes I struggle in formulating a great response, because there was no 4 step plan that I followed and felt automatically cured. A lot of my healing came in truly abandoning what was generating the most pain and suffering in my life.

A lot of us with eating disorders or mental illnesses don’t understand the concept of “softening.” Anorexia made me very hard, it made my edges sharp and left me with a constant itch to control every situation. Everything I ate, every workout I did… this is what I was always thinking about. I held on tightly to my love for restricting calories and purging my food through laxatives and overexercise, because it’s what felt easy for me. This is how I coped with the unknown of life, with the feelings that were not so pretty, with the anxieties that clouded my head. When we find a coping skill, we cling onto it: and this is what I did with my eating disorder- to the point that this disorder became who I was. What happened in my brain that ultimately led to a shift in how I was living my life? I realized what I was doing was not living. It was surviving. And from that point forward, I softened and let go. Was it a straight, easy path in letting go? Absolutely not. And I will never put that message out on the Internet or Instagram that my journey has’t been tough. Because it has been- it’s been messy and confusing, for losing the one thing that you thought was a part of you… losing your one coping skill… that’s challenging. But with inner strength, outside support, and just realizing it is so worth it to truly let go, you will find that peace in surrendering to this disorder.

Depression, on the other hand, made me numb. It left me with the inability to feel anything but sadness. I gripped onto the numb feeling, and felt guilt when any bit of happiness passed through me. I did not “deserve” that feeling like others did, and my mind left me convinced of that. With depression came unhealthy coping skills like sleeping too much, crying- a lot, isolating myself, and self-harming. These coping skills were what felt comfortable for me at the time. I let my depression harden me, make me weak, and leave me in a crippling state of sadness. It is what I knew, and it is how I thought my life was supposed to be. The same shift happened in my brain just as it did with my eating disorder. I realized what I was doing was not living. It was surviving. So again, I let go. I let go and in doing so realized other ways to cope with life’s difficulties that were far healthier than what depression gave me. I forgave myself for what this illness did to me, I did not rush my healing process, and I ultimately realized that strength did not come from holding onto my eating disorder or depression: what made me the strongest human came in letting go and surrendering. 

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“Letting go: being courageous to let go of things that make you feel bad and no longer serve you. /letting go creates space for something better/.” 

What are you going to let go of today? How are you going to soften? 

xoxo

lyss

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Staying Rooted in Recovery

October 6, 2017 in Recovery

When looking at my recovery from my eating disorder, I’ve definitely gone through seasons where thing have been a bit easier on my brain, and thing have been a bit tougher. Do I consider myself fully recovered? Yes. Yes in the sense that I do not use behaviors anymore, and I haven’t for a LONG time. But there are things I am not perfect with, and I attribute that to simply being human. I still carry negative thoughts about myself from time to time, sometimes I don’t have all “high quality” thoughts around food and exercise, and there are days that I struggle getting  fully in touch with my intuition in aspects of food and exercise. Do I think full recovery is possible? It depends what you define full recovery as. I don’t think it’s possible to make all of these thoughts go away, and like I’ve said before, I do not think it is remotely possible to go back to the life before your eating disorder. If you define full recovery as a life free from all bad body image days& all worries about your body/food/exercise thrown out the window, then I don’t think that’s possible. But I DO think full recovery is possible in the sense that you can live a life where food, exercise, and body image does not control you!! I 10000% believe that is possible and that’s why I consider myself fully recovered from my eating disorder: these things don’t derail me in living my life!

There are certain things I check in with to make sure I am rooted in my recovery.

  1. Who I am following on Instagram. This is HUGE! Unfollow people that will trigger you. Personally, I do not like following fitness accounts, health obsessed accounts, or the new blend of “fitness ED recovery” accounts. Don’t feel guilty to unfollow people who are holding you back on your journey.
  2. What is your intention? What is your intention behind a workout? Is your intention to go because you truly want to, or to go because you feel like you “should”? Is your intention to get that salad because your body truly wants vegetables or just because you’ll feel bad if you have that sandwich and potato chips? Keep your intention aligned with your values. 
  3. How are you talking about yourself? Keep the thoughts that you plant into your brain positive ones. Toxic thoughts do not bring about good behavior or good feelings. Sometimes lying to yourself on a bad day and repeating a mantra you may not fully believe at that time can make such a big difference.
  4. Are you fully listening to your body? Eating when hungry, sleeping that extra half hour instead of squeezing in a workout, choosing to do yoga over a more intense workout because that’s what your body is craving, spending time for self-care when your soul needs it instead of taking that time to go to the gym, etc.  Our bodies tell us cues: listen to them.
  5. Am I nourishing my soul? Doing the things that keep me truly happy: yoga, writing, reading, getting outside in nature, surrounding myself with the humans who bring me beautiful energy. Nourishing our bodies AND our souls is so essential for a happier life.

Stay grounded and rooted in your journey, friends. 

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*believe, always.*

Have a lovely long weekend beautiful creatures!! 

xoxo. <3 

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What happened When I put my Appearance on Such a High Pedestal?

June 8, 2017 in Recovery

What happened when I put my appearance on such a high pedestal? 

A lot of things happened. My life was completely different than it is now. Focusing on my body, my weight, how I looked- that was what my world revolved around.

When I put the size of my body as the center of my world, I became unhappy.

Striving to always be thinner, to always watch the number on the scale get lower and lower- I could not be satisfied. I had this insatiable desire to shrink and shrink and shrink. Shrinking my body led to shrinking my happiness too.

When I valued my abs showing more than I valued time spent with family and friends, I became cranky.

Abs are made in the kitchen, right? Eating “clean” to maintain my abs led to frustration at family parties trying to find “clean” food, and a feeling of dread before hanging out with friends.

When I cared more about how I looked than about my relationships, my relationships began to dwindle away.

My “health” was my upmost priority- not the people in my life. I watched these relationships fade before my eyes, yet I saw my body becoming smaller and that was all that mattered in my eyes.

What happened when I put my appearance on such a high pedestal? 

I lost my sense of confidence, self-worth, connection, and energy for the world. The passion I once had in my heart became a passion for solely looking a certain way. I never felt good enough, and I never would. I though that by having my body and the way I look on such a high pedestal, people would have known I was serious about this whole health thing- I wanted to be known as the health nut, the fitness girl: and that’s it. I was skinnier than other girls, and I wanted attention for that. 

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By putting my looks as something of such high importance, I forgot there was anything else to me. I just felt as if I was the skinny girl , forever defined by my looks. I only cared about my abs, I felt like other people only did too.. Would they actually care about my words? What else I offered to this earth? By putting my appearance on such a high pedestal, I lost other aspects of myself. I was my body, the food I ate, the workouts I did. And that was it.

So this is your Thursday reminder to stop putting how you look as the main priority of your life. Your identity does not fall in the food you eat or the workouts you do, you are far more than that.

Yes, you have a body. But you are not just your body. 

Search outside yourself, explore new passions, and let your body be your vehicle for this life: not something you are always trying to make smaller. You are enough- just as you are. Your self-worth does not- and will never- depend on how you look or how you weigh. Treat yourself with kindness and respect because you are beautiful and valuable.

Now tell me: 

Any thoughts on this or comments you have. 🙂

Happy Thursday guys!!

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Transferring to Intuitive Eating

May 25, 2017 in Recovery

Hi friends!! How are you?! Hope you have been enjoying your week thus far.

I have a new video up on something I get asked a lot: “How do you intuitively eat? How do I get there?”

Talking a whole lot about the mind-body connection here, listening to your cravings, mental aspects of hunger, etc. etc.

I don’t want to do a whole lot of writing about that, so I thought a video would suffice. Hope y’all enjoy. As always, feedback is welcome and conversation is SO appreciated.

Thank you for watching guys! Have a happy happy Thursday <3

All the love,

Lyss 🙂

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Stop Using Food to Cope

May 19, 2017 in Recovery

Friends it’s Friday and the weather has been absolutely glorious. Hot sunny days make my soul SO HAPPY!! I hope you all have been enjoying your weeks thus far. 🙂
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Stop coping with food.

What do I mean by that? Honestly a lot of things.

I used food to cope with a whole lot of issues in my life. It became my backbone for how I got through things. Feeling sad? Don’t eat as much. Feeling big? Skip a snack. Feeling good about yourself? Let yourself have that dessert.

I cannot tell you how many people out there in this world, especially this country, use food to cope with their problems. Because the thing is, we NUMB our problems- whether that’s with food, drug/alcohol addictions, cutting, or doing something as simple as scrolling through your Instagram for 20 minutes before you get out of bed.

For me, my eating disorder cultivated out of other issues. A type A personality, anxiety, gymnastics, a constant feeling of not being good enough. So I did I cope with all of those issues? Food. My eating disorder did  not just start because I wanted to have an eating disorder, or because I wanted to get skinny. It was a culmination of SO many things. So many issues I numbed through years of restriction.

I numbed my feelings with food because I didn’t know how to cope.

How does a 13 year old girl deal with feeling fatter than her friends at a pool party? Or feeling so anxious every time she walked into the classroom? How does she deal with getting yelled at while at gymnastics practice for not sticking every routine?

For me, I numbed these feelings with food. That was my coping skill. 

And I know for a FACT that many people do the same things.

For some it may be binging in order to provide comfort. The world seems scary, life seems overwhelming? Numb your feelings and binge on something. Everything in your life seems to be going wrong? Numb your feelings and skip your breakfast.

Feel. Your. Feelings. 

I cannot emphasize this enough. Feel your feelings. Embrace them. Allow them to grow within you and recognize that you will not be happy and put together all the time. Gosh, I wish we taught this in middle school. I wish we taught kids how to feel their feelings and correctly cope with what they’re going through. Because when what we’re feeling is new and uncomfortable, that is scary- for anyone. And feelings of discomfort typically lead to wanting to avoid something, in this case, the feeling. So we numb them. 

I strongly believe that every person could positively benefit from therapy. Therapy helped me unravel why I developed an eating disorder in the first place, why I felt the need to hurt my body so incredibly much. And it later helped me discover why I was so depressed, why I felt the need to again hurt myself. Sometimes we can’t discover what feelings were numbing without the help of someone else, and that is okay. Other people provide support and comfort which is a true blessing and beautiful things.

When I learned to feel my feelings, I stopped feeling the urge to use food to numb them- because I had nothing to numb. 

If I woke up and felt crappy about myself? I cried. I told my mom. And I embraced it. The wow, I don’t like what I look like today type of feelings. But I still ate because I knew that wouldn’t help me feel any better if I didn’t. If I felt lonely and worthless I let myself feel that way. I couldn’t control it. I accepted the feeling. I didn’t use food to cope with it. I didn’t numb it. I feel my feelings and I move on.

Feel what you are feeling.  Do not numb them, do not hide from them. Stop using food to cope with them. You are a human being for HAVING feelings. But please, stop feeling ashamed for them! 

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Enjoy your weekends lovely people!! Thank you for all the love you give me. Always feeling blessed.

Sending all the love to YOU. <3

Xoxo

Lyss<3

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I Never Thought I’d Beat My Eating Disorder

February 27, 2017 in Recovery

Happy Monday loves. And happy NEDA week! National Eating Disorder Awareness week is obviously very important to me. So y’all can witness even more cheesiness on this blog (even though there’s already a lot).

**There is information in this post that some may find triggering. Please take care of yourself first and don’t read if you know it may effect you in a negative way. 


I never thought I’d beat my eating disorder. 

There were times where I stood and looked my parents straight in the eyes and told them I would never get over this. There were times where I flat out told my nutritionist that I wouldn’t be able to follow my meal plan. Times where I told my therapist I didn’t care about getting better because I knew I never would.

I get a lot of questions and messages from people seeking advice for recovery, people that are stuck. And I get a whole lot of the “I wish I had your strength to beat my eating disorder, because I know I don’t have it within me.” The thing is, I didn’t think I had it within me either.

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Chillin’ in the background here. A month before I entered my first treatment program at 15. 

“I am fine.” Three words that became habit too me. Denial was my middle name at first. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with my lifestyle. I was on a quest for health, became fascinated with nutrition, and just wanted to be a smaller:more beautiful of myself.

I knew what I was doing wasn’t normal, but I enjoyed it. I enjoyed having my identity as the skinny girl who knew everything and more about healthy eating, so I rolled with it. Self-punishment became a habit. But it was a habit I just couldn’t kick. My eating disorder was my addiction. It was me. So I kept on going and living the way I was living. Because I simply couldn’t picture my life without it.

There were a lot of lows, but the lows weren’t low enough for me to want to change. The lows were terrible. There is nothing quite like throwing soy yogurt at your parents or flushing a cucumber down the toilet so you don’t have to eat it. But these lows didn’t do it. I always pictured what life would be like where I wasn’t held captive to food rules and my eating disorder, but I could never picture myself living that life. My story was different than those girls who had recovered. I truly believed no one understood the battle that was going on in my head. And that everyone else who recovered was a special case. 556973_339408039489625_120496214_n.jpg

6th person to the far right in this pic before my sophomore year homecoming 

I never thought I’d beat my eating disorder. 

I liked being sick in a strange, twisted way. My eating disorder was the only thing I had. And I sure as hell didn’t want to let it go.

No strong friendships were formed, relationships with family was lost, and I completely lost myself. A war with myself that I was constantly fighting.

I never thought I’d beat my eating disorder. 

There were days were I woke up and felt like I had a tiny bit of fight within me. But then nighttime hit and it disappeared before my eyes. The fight within me faded so quickly. There were times that I fully accepted this would be the way I would live my life. I just didn’t feel strong enough to fight, so I accepted it. I accepted my life would have to be different than a lot of people’s. And I somehow became okay with that for a bit.

I became scared, because I honestly felt my body shutting down on me. Again, I accepted it at first. Obviously I wasn’t going to die. But sleeping became harder. My bones protruded too much and the one time where I had to fully escape from my living hell was taken away from me. I felt like a walking zombie. Sleeping became a challenge. Walking up the stairs left me gasping for air. The weakness in my muscles and heart led to seizures. I saw the bubble that my eating disorder created for me slowly becoming smaller. So small that I could hardly breathe anymore.

I never thought I’d beat my eating disorder. 

But after a week of tears, restlessness, seizures, pain, swallowing laxative pills day and night, I realized this couldn’t be my reality. This couldn’t. Because I wasn’t placed on this earth for the sole purpose of living in the confines of my eating disorder. I didn’t know what would come of this feeling, but I did know I wasn’t ready to leave this world yet.

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February 2013, right before a school dance 

I never thought I’d beat my eating disorder. 

But with the smallest bit of courage and fight, with the help of treatment centers, with the hope that there was a better life for me; I did. I am not a special case. I am not the only person that has been able to beat their eating disorder. I. Am. Not. A. Special. Case.

We all have a bit of fight within us. During our weakest times where we are on our knees crying. Through the times where we have felt like we have just wanted to die. Through the worst misery and pain in our lives, we all have a little bit of fight. We all have a little bit of strength. And it isn’t easy to find it. You have to dig real deep. Sometimes that strength is going to be there one day, sometimes it feels like it’s fading. Hold onto that strength despite your hardest days. For soon it won’t feel like you are searching all over for it, it will be engrained within you.

“He gives strength to the weary. And increases the power of the weak.” 

 

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Last week: February 2017 

“You have more to do

than be weighed down

by pretty or beautiful

you are a fiery heart

and a wicked brain

do not let your soul

be defined by its shell.”

I still have to dig deep to find strength. Because life tests us with obstacles and challenges. Our strength and faith will carry us through. Just yesterday, I was feeling a bit anxious for not going to the gym because I haven’t been going as much. But I took a deep breath. Turned to the lord and the people I trust the most, and realized my strength was great enough to carry me through my feelings of anxiety.

For I now know that life is far more than a workout. That life is greater than the size of my pants. That my worth is not found in what I look like. That my morality and pride is not tied with the food I eat.

“I am not this hair, I am not this skin, I am the soul that lives within.”

If you are at a time of struggle. If you are deep within your eating disorder, remember this: even though you may not feel strong enough to overcome this battle; even though you don’t think you can beat the demons in your head: I was once there. I was in your shoes. And here I am: here I am living my life to the fullest. I didn’t think I had the power within me to fully let go of my eating disorder, but I did. I am not a special case. If I can do it, you can too.

“I’m here to tell you that if you get broken, it’s possible to put yourself back together. I’m here to tell you that if you get lost, it’s possible that a light will come, dancing, on the horizon, to lead you home.”

Keep following that light. Sometimes it shines brighter than others, sometimes it’s so dim you can hardly see it. But it is ALWAYS there. That light will guide you home.

No questions today, but as always comments are so so welcome. 🙂 Thank you for reading you beautiful souls. So grateful for this community! 

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A Weekend of Intuitive Eating

February 13, 2017 in Recovery / Yummy Eats

Hi loves and happy Monday!! Hope you all had a great weekend. 🙂

I wanted to share some eats + rambles with you all today so let’s get started!

First things first: What does intuitive eating mean to me?

Out of all the questions I get asked through this blog/Instagram, I think the most popular ones are those pertaining to intuitive eating. I want to write a post in the near future on how I transitioned to intuitive eating, but today I just want to show you all some eats from a weekend that was definitely a great example of intuitive eating. For me, intuitive eating means being in tune with my body. It is accepting that what I need is different than what someone else needs. It is not denying my cravings: it is accepting and honoring them. Intuitive eating has no rules around food. There is no right or wrong. There is no morality tied to the foods I eat. Intuitive eating is eating when I am hungry, but also eating when I am not hungry.

Friday 

Friday I had plans of getting Chipotle for dinner with a friend. I had the best burrito bowl!

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This had brown rice, pinto beans, fajita vegetables, medium salsa, corn, lettuce, and guac!

My bff and I enjoyed our little dinner date and she got on the topic of how much she wanted a smoothie. Then I was like dang a smoothie does sound pretty freakin’ good right no. By no means was I hungry, but I couldn’t get my mind off that smoothie. So we drove to the mall and got ourselves some smoothies! And they were so good.

If I didn’t get a smoothie, I would have been sitting and thinking about it. I would have felt unsatisfied. Sure, I wasn’t hungry. But clearly I had a craving. And if I denied myself of that craving, I wouldn’t have been listening to my body. So I went with what my mind and body were telling me and I was so satisfied!

Saturday 

I went to bed knowing I had plans with my friend and her boyfriend for a meal in the morning, but I didn’t know what time! I rested in the morning until my friend woke up, and we ended up leaving campus around 10:40 to go grab brunch!

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We went to the cutest little juice bar. 🙂 I got a smoothie with almond milk, almonds, honey, banana, dates, and cinnamon! And a piece of multigrain toast with egg salad and avocado. So so good! I also tried (and loved) bulletproof coffee!!

In the past, this would have stressed me out. Brunch wasn’t a thing in my book. It was too anxiety-provoking. Do I eat breakfast before hand?? Or lunch after? My disordered brain couldn’t cope with brunch. 

After brunch, I headed back to campus to relax and get some reading done. About two hours after this meal, I had a banana because I was a bit hungry. And then after a workout, I had a snack. (perfect bar and fruit!) Then I went and grabbed dinner an hour after that because I had plans. This is what intuitive eating is to me. Grabbing food when I’m hungry and not worrying about when I ate last, not worrying about when I will eat next; just simply focusing on what my body wants and needs in THAT moment. Food is fun, not something to be stressing over. 

Sunday 

I went out with friends Saturday night and had a great time. I slept in a bit Sunday (10:15 is sleeping in for me!!) When I woke up I took my vitamins and some airborne because I really am trying to keep my immune system well. I had a bowl of Love Grown cereal with raspberries and almond milk plus a vanilla siggis before heading out the door to get some schoolwork done at Starbucks!

I grabbed a veinti skinny vanilla latte with coconut milk at Starbucks while reading for my Theories of Personality class. After about two hours, I left and headed to the grocery to pick up some food. When I got back to my room (around 2:30) I snacked on some rice cakes with peanut butter and celery with hummus while watching One Tree Hill. 🙂 About an hour and a half later I had another snack (cliff bar + kombucha!) And around 6 ish I had dinner plans before church.

When I got back from church, I was craving a Lenny and Larry’s cookie, so I obviously had one of those.

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It is okay to eat close together. Because I slept in a little later, my meals were kind of all over the place. But it’s okay because my body knows what’s up. I just started my day with a bowl of cereal, but right before i left for Starbucks my body was like yoooo I’m hungry so I grabbed a yogurt while running out the door! And while I was watching One Tree Hill, I was thinking about how much I wanted a kombucha so I grabbed one. Simple as that. 

If you deny your body of what it wants, you aren’t going to stop thinking about it. That’s when food obsession comes in. If you want the latte instead of just a black coffee go get the freaking latte. If you want the cookie eat the cookie. The more you deny yourself of what you actually want, the more you’re brain is going to be clouded by thoughts of food. 

That’s it for today’s post friends! Hope you all enjoyed it.

As always, leave any thoughts you have about this in the comments! You know I love reading them. 🙂 

Now tell me: 

Favorite thing you ate this weekend? (Mine was def that brunch!!)

Have the best Monday peeeps. Go do something that’ll make ya smile! ?

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