Friends it’s Friday and the weather has been absolutely glorious. Hot sunny days make my soul SO HAPPY!! I hope you all have been enjoying your weeks thus far. 🙂
Stop coping with food.
What do I mean by that? Honestly a lot of things.
I used food to cope with a whole lot of issues in my life. It became my backbone for how I got through things. Feeling sad? Don’t eat as much. Feeling big? Skip a snack. Feeling good about yourself? Let yourself have that dessert.
I cannot tell you how many people out there in this world, especially this country, use food to cope with their problems. Because the thing is, we NUMB our problems- whether that’s with food, drug/alcohol addictions, cutting, or doing something as simple as scrolling through your Instagram for 20 minutes before you get out of bed.
For me, my eating disorder cultivated out of other issues. A type A personality, anxiety, gymnastics, a constant feeling of not being good enough. So I did I cope with all of those issues? Food. My eating disorder did not just start because I wanted to have an eating disorder, or because I wanted to get skinny. It was a culmination of SO many things. So many issues I numbed through years of restriction.
I numbed my feelings with food because I didn’t know how to cope.
How does a 13 year old girl deal with feeling fatter than her friends at a pool party? Or feeling so anxious every time she walked into the classroom? How does she deal with getting yelled at while at gymnastics practice for not sticking every routine?
For me, I numbed these feelings with food. That was my coping skill.
And I know for a FACT that many people do the same things.
For some it may be binging in order to provide comfort. The world seems scary, life seems overwhelming? Numb your feelings and binge on something. Everything in your life seems to be going wrong? Numb your feelings and skip your breakfast.
Feel. Your. Feelings.
I cannot emphasize this enough. Feel your feelings. Embrace them. Allow them to grow within you and recognize that you will not be happy and put together all the time. Gosh, I wish we taught this in middle school. I wish we taught kids how to feel their feelings and correctly cope with what they’re going through. Because when what we’re feeling is new and uncomfortable, that is scary- for anyone. And feelings of discomfort typically lead to wanting to avoid something, in this case, the feeling. So we numb them.
I strongly believe that every person could positively benefit from therapy. Therapy helped me unravel why I developed an eating disorder in the first place, why I felt the need to hurt my body so incredibly much. And it later helped me discover why I was so depressed, why I felt the need to again hurt myself. Sometimes we can’t discover what feelings were numbing without the help of someone else, and that is okay. Other people provide support and comfort which is a true blessing and beautiful things.
When I learned to feel my feelings, I stopped feeling the urge to use food to numb them- because I had nothing to numb.
If I woke up and felt crappy about myself? I cried. I told my mom. And I embraced it. The wow, I don’t like what I look like today type of feelings. But I still ate because I knew that wouldn’t help me feel any better if I didn’t. If I felt lonely and worthless I let myself feel that way. I couldn’t control it. I accepted the feeling. I didn’t use food to cope with it. I didn’t numb it. I feel my feelings and I move on.
Feel what you are feeling. Do not numb them, do not hide from them. Stop using food to cope with them. You are a human being for HAVING feelings. But please, stop feeling ashamed for them!
Enjoy your weekends lovely people!! Thank you for all the love you give me. Always feeling blessed.
Sending all the love to YOU. <3
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