When looking at my recovery from my eating disorder, I’ve definitely gone through seasons where thing have been a bit easier on my brain, and thing have been a bit tougher. Do I consider myself fully recovered? Yes. Yes in the sense that I do not use behaviors anymore, and I haven’t for a LONG time. But there are things I am not perfect with, and I attribute that to simply being human. I still carry negative thoughts about myself from time to time, sometimes I don’t have all “high quality” thoughts around food and exercise, and there are days that I struggle getting fully in touch with my intuition in aspects of food and exercise. Do I think full recovery is possible? It depends what you define full recovery as. I don’t think it’s possible to make all of these thoughts go away, and like I’ve said before, I do not think it is remotely possible to go back to the life before your eating disorder. If you define full recovery as a life free from all bad body image days& all worries about your body/food/exercise thrown out the window, then I don’t think that’s possible. But I DO think full recovery is possible in the sense that you can live a life where food, exercise, and body image does not control you!! I 10000% believe that is possible and that’s why I consider myself fully recovered from my eating disorder: these things don’t derail me in living my life!
There are certain things I check in with to make sure I am rooted in my recovery.
- Who I am following on Instagram. This is HUGE! Unfollow people that will trigger you. Personally, I do not like following fitness accounts, health obsessed accounts, or the new blend of “fitness ED recovery” accounts. Don’t feel guilty to unfollow people who are holding you back on your journey.
- What is your intention? What is your intention behind a workout? Is your intention to go because you truly want to, or to go because you feel like you “should”? Is your intention to get that salad because your body truly wants vegetables or just because you’ll feel bad if you have that sandwich and potato chips? Keep your intention aligned with your values.
- How are you talking about yourself? Keep the thoughts that you plant into your brain positive ones. Toxic thoughts do not bring about good behavior or good feelings. Sometimes lying to yourself on a bad day and repeating a mantra you may not fully believe at that time can make such a big difference.
- Are you fully listening to your body? Eating when hungry, sleeping that extra half hour instead of squeezing in a workout, choosing to do yoga over a more intense workout because that’s what your body is craving, spending time for self-care when your soul needs it instead of taking that time to go to the gym, etc. Our bodies tell us cues: listen to them.
- Am I nourishing my soul? Doing the things that keep me truly happy: yoga, writing, reading, getting outside in nature, surrounding myself with the humans who bring me beautiful energy. Nourishing our bodies AND our souls is so essential for a happier life.
Stay grounded and rooted in your journey, friends.
Have a lovely long weekend beautiful creatures!!
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