Push past your Fear

January 12, 2017 in Recovery

Happy Thursday loves!! I hope you have been enjoying your weeks thus far!

I wanted to touch on something I have struggled with, and something I am working on in my life currently. Fear. And not letting fear dictate the choices I make.

When we think of fear, we typically think of what makes us afraid. Things we don’t want to do, things that make us nervous and send a shiver up our spine. So our natural instinct is to obviously avoid those things. Because the thought of doing what makes us afraid is uncomfortable. It feels unnatural. And as humans we love our comfort zone, and we like knowing what to expect.

There are a whole bunch of things I’m afraid of, and I’m sure there are a lot of things you all are afraid of as well. It is 100% normal to have fears. But what is not normal is to let those fears dictate your life.

I’m afraid of failure. I’m afraid of disappointing not only others, but also myself. I have a whole bunch of fears surrounding relationships after my past one. I have fears of what the future will hold. I am afraid that I am not going to end up in the career I want, that I won’t get accepted into yoga teacher training or my internship. I have a whole bunch of fears.

I was talking to my therapist about some of these the other day during our session. I told her that I just didn’t want to talk or get involved with any guys for a long time and would block out any emotions I had towards someone to avoid getting hurt. And she kinda just smirked at me like a “cmon Lyss ya know that sounds silly.” And I was like ya no it doesn’t. But then after talking more through it, I realized how I was letting fear dictate my life and my choices.

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“Delight yourself in the LORD & he will give you the desires of your heart.” 

We cannot give fear the power to paralyze us. I have done that in the past. Whether it was the fears surrounding food and my body when I was deep in my eating disorder, the fear of trying new activities or hanging out with different people, the fear of getting my feelings hurt by a guy; I ran away from those fears and avoided all of those things. And instead of tackling them I let them control the way I lived my life. And clearly, that wasn’t effective.

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“What we fear of doing most is usually what we most need to do.” 

This past semester I did what I feared, and I needed to do that. I needed to get in that relationship, because I needed to discover more about myself. Just from being with that person for a short three months, I learned so incredibly much about myself, what I value, and the way I want to be treated. Did the outcome suck? Yeah! But it is what I needed to do. I needed to do what I feared so I could GROW AND BLOSSOM.

I think what is so crucial to remember is that conquering our fears is going to help us in the long run no matter what the outcome may me. If things go well when you face your fears, you will grow. And if things don’t go well, you will also grow. So there is nothing to lose. Because we ultimately become a better version of ourselves when we face our fears. But when we don’t and we hide behind them, there is no room for self-improvement. And isn’t that the point of life? To better ourselves each and every single day?? I sure think so. I  know that’s what I strive for. In the morning when I wake up I ask myself, “How can I be a better Lyss than I was the day before?”

“Which do you want: the pain of staying where you are, or the pain of growth?”

Of course, growth is freakin’ painful sometimes. God, it was painful for me this past month/two months. But I needed that pain to get where I am right now.

So by the end of my therapy session, I was like you know what you are 100% right. I can’t just avoid the things I am afraid of the rest of my life and hide behind a wall. Sure, my main goal is in no way getting a boyfriend; but I can’t be afraid of relationships and have the belief that each and every one of them is bad. Because that isn’t true. I can’t let fear dictate the way I view my life, I can’t let fear dictate my decisions or take away from my positivity.

bloom beautifully

dangerously

loudly

bloom softly

however you need

just bloom”

I am a firm believer that God and the universe works wonders on each and every one of us. God has a plan that is so much greater than we could ever imagine. And that plan involves fear. Pain. Hurt. Tears. Anger. Frustration. But that plan also involves growth. Smiles. Laughter. Joy. And that’s what makes God’s plan just so freakin’ beautiful in my eyes.

  Now tell me: 

What is one thing that helps you overcome fear? 

Have a great day loves. Hope you get in a good belly laugh today and splurge on a Kombucha. 🙂

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28 Comments

  • Reply Stephanie January 12, 2017 at 3:59 am

    JUST DO IT! Sometimes that helps me, don’t overthink just dive right in. Literally I used to be petrified of swimming ask Uncle John. I refused to get in the water I was so scared and you know I can’t even remember how I became unafraid to swim in the water but I did, I JUST DID IT. Now I love to swim! I love this post so much, it is so well written and I hope you will continue to live by these words that you have shared with us!! Love 2 u

    • Reply Alyssa January 15, 2017 at 3:30 am

      aw haha I didn’t know that mamma. You do love that friggin pool now tho. Love you!!

  • Reply Lynne (Lynne's Recipe Trails) January 12, 2017 at 11:11 am

    This is such an inspirational post Lyss, thank you 🙂 Facing ones fears is the only way to go, there just is no other way. You have said it all in your post. Don’t let fear control our life. We are in control of our own lives. 🙂 x
    Lynne (Lynne’s Recipe Trails) recently posted…Vegetable Spaghetti with Spinach Almond Pesto and BaconMy Profile

    • Reply Alyssa January 15, 2017 at 3:32 am

      thank you so much Lynne. totally agree with ya 🙂

  • Reply Emily January 12, 2017 at 12:43 pm

    AMEN SISTER. YES. God has a wonderful plan, and though there will be hardship, there will ALWAYS be joy and hope at the end of the tunnel. He has given us the spirit of power, love, and of a sound mind.

    <3 I love how you thought this out after talking to your therapist.
    Emily recently posted…Triple Chocolate Nutella Brownie ThumbprintsMy Profile

    • Reply Alyssa January 15, 2017 at 3:32 am

      thank you so much em. Therapy sessions are AMAZING

  • Reply Trine January 12, 2017 at 4:33 pm

    You are so strong my love <3 This experience will make you even stronger. Love you xox

    • Reply Alyssa January 15, 2017 at 3:34 am

      love YOU <3 xoxo

  • Reply Alison @ Daily Moves and Grooves January 12, 2017 at 7:20 pm

    I recently learned that the most repeated phrase in the Bible is, “Be not afraid,” so God definitely has us taken care of 🙂 It’s practically impossible to not be afraid, but that doesn’t mean we can’t just leap, and like Stephanie said, “just DO IT!” Jump into His arms and run towards Him with trust.
    Alison @ Daily Moves and Grooves recently posted…“I’ve Had So Much Rest. I Should Be Able to Do This Workout!”My Profile

    • Reply Alyssa January 15, 2017 at 3:36 am

      I LOVE that Alison. Thank you for that!! xoxo

  • Reply Heather @ Polyglot Jot January 13, 2017 at 1:18 am

    Great post! I think that having support from loved ones pushes me past fear. I often remind myself that sometimes the best things and most important chances we take are scary!
    Heather @ Polyglot Jot recently posted…1st Trimester FavoritesMy Profile

    • Reply Alyssa January 15, 2017 at 3:41 am

      so true. having others support makes a huge difference!

  • Reply Stephanie Leduc January 13, 2017 at 1:48 am

    I think that since you’ve learnt a lot from your past relationship, the next time a guy comes into your life, you will know right away whether you are being treated fairly or not.
    I really loved this blog post, I get really afraid of making choices that could impact my future. I am currently in a huge debate with myself whether or not I should take an internship opportunity abroad. It’s amazing, yet I’m scared about money, losing opportunities here and so on..
    However, the quote “what we fear of doing most is usually what we most need to do” is reaaaaalllllyyyy speaking to me right now.
    Stephanie Leduc recently posted…15 Things I Never Told YouMy Profile

    • Reply Alyssa January 15, 2017 at 3:44 am

      I would SO go for it. I’m always here if you wanna talk more about that too!! xoxo

  • Reply Caroline January 13, 2017 at 4:18 am

    Realizing that God and his plans and truth are so much greater than mine helps me overcome fear. But this post resonates with me a lot. I’ve been so terrified (and honestly still kind of am…) of getting hurt in a relationship (friendship, romantic, other…) but it’s true, you can’t avoid people forever out of fear. And I have to realize that I absolutely 100% will be hurt in this life, and instead of running from it, it’s time to embrace it and heal.
    Caroline recently posted…“Normal Eating” and WIAWMy Profile

    • Reply Alyssa January 15, 2017 at 3:45 am

      it is such a normal fear, that’s the thing. and i am still afraid of that! but we need to trust in god and his plans just like you said. xoxo

  • Reply Kristy from Southern In Law January 13, 2017 at 6:16 am

    One thing that helps me push past my fears is reminding myself that EVERYTHING feels scary for the first time – and also reminding myself just how many incredible things I’ve done despite the fact I was fearful beforehand – and now they feel like second nature.
    Kristy from Southern In Law recently posted…Recent Things: Unexpected House Guests, Unicycles and SketchesMy Profile

    • Reply Alyssa January 15, 2017 at 3:46 am

      that’s so true. everything DOES feel scary for the first time. Great reminder, thank you for that <3

  • Reply Abigail Trainor January 13, 2017 at 6:37 am

    Spot on. Good reminder to trust God’s and try to push past our fears. How are you trying to better your relationship with God? I’d love to hear about what you’re doing. I’m just trying to read the bible more.

    • Reply Alyssa January 15, 2017 at 3:47 am

      I really want to get better at doing daily devotionals and just talking to the lord throughout the day 🙂 and following in his examples by spreading love and positivity daily!!

  • Reply Mackenzie January 13, 2017 at 9:39 pm

    Lyss, I needed this post big time right now. Thank you <3

    • Reply Alyssa January 15, 2017 at 3:48 am

      thank YOU for reading love <3

  • Reply kat January 13, 2017 at 11:48 pm

    Oh gosh – fear has ruined many opportunities for me in this life unfortunetly! The one thing I try to always remind myself of is that God wants us to live a FULL life, not a fearful one. In 1st Timothy He tells us He did not give us a spirit of timidity – what a reminder! I just try to remember that God is within me and that regardless of my fear He placed the opportunity there for a reason.
    kat recently posted…Simple Ways to Make Your Coffee HealthierMy Profile

    • Reply Alyssa January 15, 2017 at 3:49 am

      I love that- God IS within us no matter what fear we may have. Thank you for that Kat <3

  • Reply Joyce @ The Hungry Caterpillar January 14, 2017 at 4:46 pm

    Blargh! Yes, you’re right. I definitely harbor a lot of fear in my life–about relationships not working out, about ending up with a job I don’t like, about not being able to find a job, etc. And I know I need to not let that hold me back. I think you have so much insight in your story about your relationship this last semester. It didn’t work out that well, so it would be possible to say that your fears were “confirmed”–but actually, you’ve been able to focus on the positive and how you could learn and grow from embracing something that you feared, even if it didn’t work out so well. (But that doesn’t mean that fear isn’t real; my therapist used to give me a little smirk like that all the time and it made me so irritated! You are so much more patient than I to be able to see the wisdom in what she’s saying.)
    Joyce @ The Hungry Caterpillar recently posted…A Message to Group Fitness Instructors from an Eating Disorder SurvivorMy Profile

    • Reply Alyssa January 15, 2017 at 3:52 am

      Thank you so much love <3 that means so so much to me. I Hope you are enjoying your weekend girly

  • Reply Melanie January 16, 2017 at 12:24 am

    I relate to this so much. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I have so many fears and anxieties that keep me from just LIVING life. It’s really something I want to overcome. Trusting in God and reminding myself that He is with me helps me overcome my fears… also remembering that I have an amazing family/support system who will love me know matter what happens!

  • Reply Susie @ Suzlyfe January 16, 2017 at 4:11 pm

    I so often find that I am fearful without knowing it–that there is a subconscious fear that is holding me back. Then I have these powerful, emotive reactions that I can’t control, and I don’t know why! I’m glad that I have uncovered this propensity–it is my new project!

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