Hi guys and happy Tuesday! Thought I’d pop in today to share a bit about my day yesterday.
If you read my blog, you know that I preach self-love. I preach intuitive exercise and intuitive eating, I preach that full recovery from an eating disorder is possible. I am an advocate of loving yourself and an advocate that achieving balance in all aspects of life: food, exercise, friends, school, etc. is possible. I think that listening to your body is so so important and I think that not putting certain foods off limits is extremely important for a happy life and a healthy mind.
So I preach all of that; and I write about it here on my blog and of course I follow it. But that doesn’t mean that sometimes it’s harder than others to practice what I preach. I could tell you all to take that rest day and to eat that cupcake when you are craving one; but sometimes telling myself to do that is hard too; telling myself it’s okay to take that rest day can be a mental challenge at times but you bet that I end up taking it. It doesn’t mean it’s a walk in the park, it doesn’t mean that it’s a piece of cake and I don’t feel some discomfort after.
Since this is a blog and I choose to share my personal life with you, this is exactly what I intend to do. I’m not going to sugar coat it for you and make my life seem like it’s all butterflies and roses because it isn’t.
Friday night was great. Saturday night was a bit rocky. I don’t want to go into details, but it could have been better. On a positive note, it could have been worse. Sunday was a day filled with brunch with two good friends, homework and dinner with my best friend Tim, and church for Palm Sunday. I had some anxiety last night. Basically, I just don’t like the male population as of late but Saturday night taught me a lot just like any tough night does. And I’m learning, I’m growing. I learn from every mistake I make.
Monday I wanted to see one of my good friends Jimmy for lunch, but the only time he could go was 1:30. I usually grab lunch right after class (11:30), workout around 1:30, come back to my room and shower, then head to class at 4:00. But this day was different, my routine was thrown off a bit but I needed a good lunch with my best friend and I needed a long vent sesh. So I went with it. And you know what?? I picked lunch with a great friend and decided to not rush and stress about squeezing in a workout. After my class ended at 11:30 I decided to go to the library instead to do homework, grab lunch at 1:30, do a little homework before class, then go to class. I could have been stressing and freaking out about when I was going to workout, but that is toxic. That is toxic for me and that is toxic for my mental health. I am not going to sit behind this computer and tell you all to pick plans with a friend over a workout then be a hypocrite and ditch lunch plans with a friend for working out. That wouldn’t be practicing what I preach. That wouldn’t be going with what I know deep down is best for me.
“Your beliefs don’t make you a better person; your behavior does…”
I was going back and forth on whether I should try and squeeze in a workout before lunch with Jimmy or after lunch before my class, but quite frankly it was stressing me out. I didn’t wanna show up to lunch or class all sweaty and I didn’t want to workout just because I felt like I had to. Because that is not healthy in the slightest. The gym should not feel like a chore, it should be something fun for you to do and a good way to get out some steam. But today the gym felt like a chore. Today, the gym felt like an extra stressor in my life and that is the last thing I need in my life right now: more stress. So I went against my routine and I took the day off.
Did I feel a bit guilty at first?? Yes. Did I get over it?? Yes!! Am I going to look any different tomorrow?? No!! Of course I won’t. At first I felt guilty and like I should’ve squeezed in that workout, but then I reminded myself that I shouldn’t get anxiety or feelings of guilt for not going to the gym today or not going to the gym any day. The gym and working out should be fun. The gym should NOT ever be something you dread to do. It should not carry that connotation with it at ALL. There will be plenty of other days to workout, there will be plenty of other times where I am less busy and the gym will always be there. Amazing friends like Jimmy who is an absolute ray of sunshine is more important to me than an hour workout. Jimmy is one of the greatest friends I have, he is one of the most genuine souls I have encountered. And no way would I ever miss out on lunch with him just to go to the gym. I have done that in the past and it got me absolutely nowhere; it brought me nothing but loneliness and isolation. That one-hour workout is not worth all of that if you ask me.
So yes, I do practice what I preach. No, my life isn’t always easy with this kinda stuff. These little mental battles come and go but the difference is, I always fight back at them; I am always able to overcome them. I don’t dwell on that initial discomfort I feel at first because I know that it will pass and I am confident that everything will be fine. If there is one thing I want to be known as through the blogging community is real and raw. I am going to share my life on here whether that is the glorious and happy moments or the little tough ones that I battle back at and overcome because I am a firm believer that both of the happy and the sad moments teach us a tremendous amount in life and without them, we wouldn’t be who we are today.
“Get out from your house, from your cave, from your car, from the place you feel safe, from the place that you are. Get out and go running, go funning, go wild. Get out from your head and get growing, dear child.”
I hope you guys enjoyed this little ramble Tuesday, and I hope by showing that I am in fact human and I do have struggles shows that I am authentic, I am not a robot. I am just a 19 year-old girl trying to do the best she can. I am just a girl writing here on this blog, a girl that is sharing what she believes in and IS in fact practicing what she preaches to all of you and anyone who reads this.
Thank you guys for reading and always being so supportive and kind! You are all so amazing.
Sending my love as always.
Facebook: Blissful Lyss