No regrets, just lessons learned

January 9, 2017 in Recovery

Hi guys and happy Monday! Last week at home for me before I go back to school… eeeeeep!

Anyone else get tons of snow this weekend? I left the house once Saturday to workout but that was it. The roads were pretty dang bad!

Anyways, let’s just into today’s post because it’s something that’s been on my mind a lot.

No regrets, just lessons learned. 

I don’t care who you are, we all have regrets. We all wish we did things certainly at one point or another. Or we could get a time machine and go back to change how we acted in a certain situation/how that situation played out.

Flashback to about a month-ish ago. I was driving and I literally just SCREAMED so friggin loudly because that feeling of regret him me so hard. I just got so mad at myself for letting things in my life spiral so out of control. “If I did this differently, this wouldn’t have happened. Or if I stayed single, I wouldn’t have felt this way, etc. etc. etc.” The feelings of regret and frustration with myself hit me so awfully hard during that car ride. It started with frustration, but it eventually led to tears. Because it hurt me! And that’s okay to admit. I was hurt and my emotions were all over the place.

A few weeks later looking at pictures from the summer, this feeling hit me even harder. It sucked seeing pictures from before this all happened. And again, those “what if” questions kept itching their way back into my brain. “What if I did this differently? What if I spoke up when I so desperately wanted to?” You all know how detrimental those what if questions are. They hit so close to home. And they drive you crazy, because there simply is no answer to those questions. So we sit and think about them, we sit and dwell on them. And that is what I did all that night.

It wasn’t until the end of December where I had a big realization. There is nothing to regret from what happened these past couple months. Sure, it sucked. Sure, it hurt a whole lot. The depression, the tears, losing myself… it all hurt. But I learned SO much from it all. I learned that I can never settle in a relationship, and I learned how I don’t want to be treated. I learned what I do value in a relationship. I learned better coping skills for my depression. I learned that life can throw you some pretty crappy moments, but that God will never give us more than we can handle. And I could handle it. I’ve handled hard times before, and I handled this challenging time just fine. I got through, and I came out a whole lot stronger.

“This is where I start my comeback. I will spend no more time asking God why doors have been closed because I’ll be too busy praising God for doors that are about to open.”

Train yourself to find the blessing in everything.” 

We need to train ourselves to find the blessing in every single obstacle life throws at us. Because if we don’t, if we have that “why me” attitude, we are not going to grow.

I was talking to my friend Jimmy Saturday night, and I wanted to share something from our convo because it was a pretty awesome one. (but they are always awesome with him!)

And I don’t want people to feel pity for me. Bc I truly understand why god put this hardship in my life and I’m okay with it. Because flowers get stepped on but they still grow after. And that’s just like me. I got stepped on a whole lot these past two months. But here I am blooming despite all that. 

We are going to get stepped on in life and we are going to get bruises. We are going to get wounds and we are going to hurt. We can’t keep picking at those wounds or they are never going to heal. We can’t keep dwelling on those hard times and getting mad that they happened to us. Instead, we must embrace the difficulties life gives us. We must embrace God’s plan and even though it isn’t always so easy to do so; we must fully accept that in the midst of challenging times, we always do learn some pretty amazing lessons.

“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you. They’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” Amen to that!! 

That’s it for today guys. Thank ya for always letting me share what’s on my  mind. And for reading it! Love you all and hoping you have the best Monday. <3

Let me know what you think in the comments too! If you can relate/if you have felt the same way at one point of your life/etc. Always love hearing what y’all have to say!

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36 Comments

  • Reply Patrícia Santos January 9, 2017 at 10:19 am

    Loves this post!
    I think we can never fprget that everything happens for a reaon, even when we don’t understand the reason.. one day we will!
    Wish you a happy 2017, full of dreams come true!
    Xoxo

    http://www.thathappymess.com

    • Reply Alyssa January 12, 2017 at 4:07 am

      everything DOES happen for a reason <3

  • Reply Stephanie January 9, 2017 at 12:25 pm

    So when you look yonder what do you see? It is your choice, isn’t that amazing?
    God bless you my child I love you!

    • Reply Alyssa January 12, 2017 at 4:07 am

      lol yonder. you sound so smart and professional mama. love ya!!

  • Reply Caroline January 9, 2017 at 3:13 pm

    Yep. I think we all think what if I had…? whenever something goes wrong in our lives. But at the same time I think we need to remember what if I hadn’t…? because sometimes small decisions lead us to the greatest joys. I’m glad you’re not beating yourself up about things now because you don’t need to! Yes, mistakes happen especially in the ways we take care of ourselves and the relationships we pursue, but learning from those mistakes and the things we want out of our relationships and life is what truly matters.
    Caroline recently posted…Week in Review…Productive Rest & TravelMy Profile

    • Reply Alyssa January 12, 2017 at 4:08 am

      thank you sm girl<3 yes, it really is a huge learning experience and choosing to look at it that way is so helpful!

  • Reply Joyce @ The Hungry Caterpillar January 9, 2017 at 3:17 pm

    I can so empathize with you screaming in your car in frustration. It is so easy for me to go into regret and guilt mode, and yes, it’s terribly, terribly frustrating. Especially when you had so many hard things last semester.
    You’ve done such a good job since that happened finding peace and focusing on the positive things that have come out of it, such as what you’ve learned. I had a friend who used to use the phrase, “Give yourself grace,” and I found that so wise. Hope you’re able to continue to give yourself grace.
    Joyce @ The Hungry Caterpillar recently posted…Week in Review + Why I Support HAESMy Profile

    • Reply Alyssa January 12, 2017 at 4:09 am

      It is so frustrating. I love that quote too. We need to give ourselves more grace for sure!!

  • Reply Emily January 9, 2017 at 3:33 pm

    AMEN. God has wiped away our sins as a thick cloud through the Lord Jesus Christ, and we can look forward instead of living in the past. I’m so so thankful for that realization; let’s keep pressing forward my awesome friend Lyss! To God be the glory! <3 <3 <3
    Emily recently posted…Caramelized Raspberry Banana Chocolate French ToastMy Profile

    • Reply Alyssa January 12, 2017 at 4:09 am

      I love you Em. Thank YOU

  • Reply Emily January 9, 2017 at 3:34 pm

    And you are a flower that is blossoming so much; I see the Lord using you in mighty ways that you might never even know.
    Emily recently posted…Caramelized Raspberry Banana Chocolate French ToastMy Profile

    • Reply Alyssa January 12, 2017 at 4:09 am

      that means so incredibly much to me. love you lots

  • Reply rachel @ athletic avocado January 9, 2017 at 9:47 pm

    Yes love your perspective! We must keep pressing forward to the prize and forget the things behind us! Keep focusing on God and you will always win <3
    rachel @ athletic avocado recently posted…Low Carb Buckeye Brownie Banana Muffins + Break your sugar addictionMy Profile

    • Reply Alyssa January 12, 2017 at 4:10 am

      thank you so so much!!

  • Reply Stephanie Leduc January 10, 2017 at 12:12 am

    No one can say it better than you. Our experiences, whether good or bad, shape us to be the people we are. If you are take these experiences to strengthen yourself, then you will be one heck of strong girl!!
    Stephanie Leduc recently posted…Which Nutrition Trends Were the Most Popular in 2016?My Profile

  • Reply Stephanie Leduc January 10, 2017 at 12:12 am

    No one can say it better than you. Our experiences, whether good or bad, shape us to be the people we are. If you are take these experiences to strengthen yourself, then you will be one heck of strong girl!!
    Stephanie Leduc recently posted…Which Nutrition Trends Were the Most Popular in 2016?My Profile

    • Reply Alyssa January 12, 2017 at 4:10 am

      Thank you so much Steph. Our experiences mold us into the person we are supposed to become!

  • Reply Heather @ Polyglot Jot January 10, 2017 at 1:13 am

    Yes, I’ve been here on more than one occasion in life and it’s so hard. I often replay the what if’s so many times that my anxiety gets flared up. I really like how you compared the flowers still blooming after being stepped on. It’s so true. Its also amazing what God does in our lives when we let Him in!
    Heather @ Polyglot Jot recently posted…4 Year AnniversaryMy Profile

    • Reply Alyssa January 12, 2017 at 4:11 am

      When we give God the control, he does work wonders. Thank you Heather <3

  • Reply Cora January 10, 2017 at 2:08 am

    I think regret and guilt are the two hardest human emotions we feel. They are just…. so, so hard. I think its okay to feel the hurt they cause you. Of course we are going to wish that we did things differently or we didn’t experience something, but the important thing is that we accept that it happened and let ourselves move on, let go of the harmful hate we may carry, and take the lessons we learned through the experience with us as we move on. This is very strong of you to write.
    Cora recently posted…Week In Review: Thinking Out Loud EditionMy Profile

    • Reply Alyssa January 12, 2017 at 4:11 am

      They are really such hard emotions. You are right with that for sure. And thank you so much Cora!

  • Reply Megan Hallier January 10, 2017 at 3:22 am

    That is such a great motto actually. Most of the regrets I have are things that I said which now embarass me but then I remember that the people I said them to won’t even remember so it really doesn’t matter.
    And as I have learnt…it is always better to tell someone how you feel!
    Megan Hallier recently posted…9 cures for the Monday bluesMy Profile

    • Reply Alyssa January 12, 2017 at 4:11 am

      Yes- so right. better to be OPEN and honest for sure 🙂

  • Reply Taylor January 10, 2017 at 3:14 pm

    I can definitely relate. It’s so easy to think, “I should have done this or that” but we wouldn’t be where we are today without the bad times. I lot of good things have come out of mistakes I have made in my life. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Hang in there girlie! xoxoxo
    Taylor recently posted…Weekend Recap 1.10.17…Rest, Games, Snow, & Girls NightMy Profile

    • Reply Alyssa January 12, 2017 at 4:12 am

      The I should have statements are so detrimental to our health. And I am too. Everything does happen for a reason! totally agree with you on that

  • Reply Sarah January 11, 2017 at 12:23 am

    This is exactly the right mindset! You can’t live life with regrets, live it to the fullest, which means making mistakes and having hard times. Our experiences shape us into who we are, and personally, it helps me to remember that God has a plan for me, and that as long as I am trying and growing, everything will work out.
    Sarah recently posted…My Anorexia {Real} RecoveryMy Profile

    • Reply Alyssa January 12, 2017 at 4:12 am

      Thank you babe <3 they really do. We can learn so much for our dark days

  • Reply Ellie Pell January 11, 2017 at 12:59 am

    I love the concept that when God closes a door, somewhere He opens a window. That doesn’t mean we should always be happy and things never suck, but it can be a way out of negative feelings. Sometimes I wish I had done things differently, but you know what? It’s not because I am unhappy with my life, it’s that wonder and possibility at other things I could have done. I’m not mad about it, just thoughtful. God has a reason and a plan 🙂 and that makes me smile.
    Ellie Pell recently posted…My Favorite Cheese SauceMy Profile

    • Reply Alyssa January 12, 2017 at 4:13 am

      I love that concept too. God does have a plan bigger and greater than we could imagine!

  • Reply Elaine @ FoodParsed January 11, 2017 at 3:28 am

    Love your perspective! I find that it’s super easy for me to get stuck in the past and try to relive things in my mind instead of focusing on the future. Thanks for sharing. <3
    Elaine @ FoodParsed recently posted…Pan Fried Brussel SproutsMy Profile

    • Reply Alyssa January 12, 2017 at 4:13 am

      Thank YOU for reading!!

  • Reply Abigail Trainor January 11, 2017 at 7:24 am

    Loved this line: “We must embrace God’s plan and even though it isn’t always so easy to do so”. SO SO SO SO true. It’s definitely not easy but God’s plan will turn to be the best one!

    • Reply Alyssa January 12, 2017 at 4:14 am

      It will turn into the best one for sure!!

  • Reply Kristy from Southern In Law January 11, 2017 at 11:10 pm

    What a wonderful perspective! I am SO glad you were able to see things this way instead of being stuck in a funk! <3
    Kristy from Southern In Law recently posted…Recipe: Vegan Spaghetti and No-MeatballsMy Profile

  • Reply Alyssa January 12, 2017 at 4:14 am

    Thank you so so much Kristy. Your words always mean so much to me

  • Reply Alison @ Daily Moves and Grooves January 12, 2017 at 7:06 pm

    Indeed, God can bring so much fruit out of the darkness and brokenness in our lives. He alone makes all things new! ♥︎ You are wonderful, Lyss.

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