Hi guys and happy Monday! Y’all know what that means: Mental Health Monday timeeee 🙂 Going to be linking up with Julia today for another Mental Health Monday so let’s get started!
The title of this post prob makes you wanna exit out of my blog immediately or slap me across the cheek, but this is a topic that has been lingering in the back of my head for a bit now and I just wanted to take the plunge today to actually talk about it. Because truth is, I don’t always love my body. I tell everyone and their mother (okay exaggeration but still) how I am a self-love and eating disorder recovery advocate and I 100% stand by that and I ALWAYS will. But the thing is, sometimes I’m not goo-goo- ga-ga over my body. I’m just not and I’m not going to lie on here or to others that I wake up every single day and am like “Wow I just adore the fat on my stomach & my little love handles are so beautiful and I just love cellulite so much & my rolls are ahmazinggg!” Because the thing is, I don’t do that all the time. Simple as that.
AUTHENTICITY- REAL. ACCURATE. HONEST. TRANSPARENT.
I always strive to be real, accurate, honest, and transparent. And if I were to be 100% real, there are times where I am not in love with the rolls on my stomach. There are times where I am not pleased with the pictures I take or subconsciously compare my body to others.
But the thing is, (which is the main point I want to get across to you all on this post) is that you don’t have to be in love and all mushy-gushy over your body every single day. It’s okay if you’re not. The main difference between the Lyss now and the Lyss 3 years ago was that my body, the food I ate, how many laxatives I took, etc was the main focus of my life. My life centered around how much I hated myself and my body. The Lyss now does not put that as the main focus of her life.
Here’s an example of how I handle a scenario now when I am feeling kind of “eh” about my body: “Wears swimsuit to beach, notices stomach in glass window, gets a bit self-critical, realizes that is silly and I don’t really care, accept my body for what it is and understand it’s just a small part of my life. Move onto the other parts of the day because my body isn’t the center of my life anymore.”
In that scenario where I was feeling kind of down on myself, I didn’t scream to the world and shout it from the rooftops that I love and adore my stomach so dang much and that it is the most beautiful stomach in the world. I didn’t tell my whole neighborhood that the way my thighs touch is incredible and that I am in love with the fat on my sides. I just accepted it and moved on. The thing is, I don’t focus on it because it is just a small part of my life. That is it, a small part of my life. Nothing more. It is not the center of my life nor is it my goal to change my body any longer. My body is my temple, and I accept my temple for what it is instead of trying to destroy it.
When my body and the way I looked/felt was the center of my life, I did not feel any happier. I was miserable. My mind was consumed with negative thoughts and it felt like I was gasping for air in a clouded room of smoke and just wanted to live, because the thing is when I was the skinniest, I was the least happy. I felt like I was drowning in this world where I should have been thriving. I had this insatiable hunger to be the skinniest person in the room and even if I was, this hunger could not be fueled and it was like a dog with an empty pit in its stomach begging and begging for more food; yet it could never be okay with what it was given. This insatiable hunger could not be fed and it could not be fed for three years, three years where I was longing to be the skinniest in the room because if I was, I felt that I could maybe finally be happy. But even when I was, I wasn’t happy. I was drowning and I was just itching for a fresh of breath air.
The thing is, I don’t think you have to be all mushy gushy over your body at all times. I think if you aren’t 100% in love with it 24 hours of the day- that is fine!! We are human and we are allowed to feel these emotions. I don’t think it makes you any less of a body positive warrior or self-love/ED recovery advocate if sometimes you aren’t so in love with yourself and your body. I think that makes you real. What I think is not okay is if you put your insecurities as the main focus of your life. You let your insecurities about your body take the main focus and you put the other amazing things on the side- THAT is not okay. Accept your body. Accept it. And live your life. Your body and the way you look should not be the center of your life.
When a woman becomes her own best friend, life is easier.
Become your own best friend. I am not telling you that entails of loving your body every single freakin day of the universe because that is just not plausible. Be your own best friend. Go get yourself a coffee and a manicure and kick some bootayyy today. Go do whatever your heart desires. And keep accepting yourself and your body for what it is.
No questions today, but as always I would love to hear your thoughts on this as I value and cherish them so much!! Have a happy happy Monday friends! And as always, thank you for reading my thoughts on this little blog of mine 🙂
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