Mental health Monday: Business

May 16, 2016 in Recovery

Hi guys and happy Monday! Hope you all had a lovely weekend. šŸ™‚

Going to be linking up with the amazing Julia for a mental health Monday post!

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(PC-Julia)

Today we are going to be talking about business. Business: you know, constantly being going, constantly doing something and having your mind engaged. No breaks, no relaxation time. Just go-go-go. We are all busy in one way or another. Whether it is school, a job, lots of errands, volunteering, or just a hectic time with everything: we have all been there and have been busy. Being busy sometimes is great! Because when we are busy, we typically get a lot done. There is no time to relax, no time for ourselves. We are going without breaks. And this is definitely a satisfying feeling when we are going and accomplishing a lot. But too much of anything is not a good thing. Extremes are never healthy, and when we are constantly going without any time for ourselves, problems can arise and we begin to lose focus on how important relaxation time is.

“We wear our business as a sign of honor.” 

During my yoga workshop a few weeks ago, the instructor said this quote and it really stuck with me. I feel like I definitely connected with it on a personal level. Wearing our business as a sign of honor is something I feel we all do at some point. Do you ever notice how after a long and busy day, we are never shy to tell people all that we did; all that we accomplished? For instance, “Today was so long! I studied for about 3 hours then went to the gym right after. Then I was back in the library and studied more, went to church, went to a TA session, and now I am just exhausted!” We are never shy to tell people about our crazy days and we are never shy to justify why we should be exhausted after them. But what if I did pretty much nothing? I woke up, ate, watched some Netflix, grabbed coffee with friends, and walked my dog. We may not go on and on about our days, because we weren’t that busy; we don’t feel that our days were that exciting and maybe even if we are exhausted on those days, we don’t feel like we have a reason to. On our busy days, we feel that we have this badge of honor to show and tell people about.

But that shouldn’t be the case. That sign of honor should not be earned just from a busy life. Because too much business is a bad thing. What if we never take time to just breathe; take time to step back from it all and just relax? I know for me when I didn’t do that, it resulted in some poor mental health and a constant state of stress and anxiety. Being busy is a good thing sometimes. Again, I feel like moderation applies to this too; and what people’s definition of busy exactly is. Sometimes doing a lot is fun! It takes our mind off of things. And sometimes busy days are not a choice we make. If we have work, an outing with family, etc. etc. all on our plate one day; we have to go to all that and the business of that day is really out of our hands. But what if we really have nothing on our agenda? This is what can become a problem. What if we are not okay with simply just sitting and doing nothing? What if that arouses anxiety? That is a big issue, because sitting and doing nothing is vital to our mental health. If it’s a day where you don’t have work, you don’t feel like working out, all your friends and family are busy; or if it’s a day where you quite frankly don’t feel like doing anything, then you shouldn’t feel the need to do a boatload of things just because you feel this desire to be busy and constantly going. That is not healthy, and that is not good for your mental health. How are we supposed to make time for self-care when we are busy all the time? Or how are we supposed to do things to make our soul sing when we have so much on our plate? The answer: when we are going non-stop, we won’t have time for those things, and in my opinion: days of relaxation are so, so important.

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“You have enough. You do enough. You are enough. Relax.” 

Relax. Something I used to not be able to do at all. Take a step back, take time for yourself, nap, watch Netflix, make yourself a cup of coffee. Relax. Don’t make a to-do list of things for the day just to be busy, don’t push yourself past your limits. Relax. Don’t go to the gym if you don’t want to today and don’t go to a two hour workout class just because you feel like you haven’t been busy enough today. Do something to make your soul happy. Go to a cute little juice bar and read a book; go grab yourself an iced coffee and sit outside with your doggies. It’s time we stop wearing our business as a sign of honor. Because how much we do and whether we are constantly going or not is something that should not be worn as a sign of honor; it is something that should in no way, shape, or form define us. Yes, we will have busy days. That’s life! The need to have them all the time is very unhealthy though.

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“There is virtue in work and there is virtue in rest. Use both and overlook neither.” 

Work, have your busy days. Relax, have time for yourself, take naps, go read a book, watch TV. That is balance. Don’t overlook your busy days. And don’t feel the need to have them all the time to prove yourself to someone. Don’t feel poorly about yourself if you hardly move from your couch. Because those types of days are essential for our mental health and well-being. They are what makes us whole.

Thank you Julia for letting me share my thoughts this Monday! And thank you guys for reading and being so awesome. šŸ™‚

Sending my love as always.

Xoxo

Lyss<3

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25 Comments

  • Reply Marina @ A Dancer's Live-It May 16, 2016 at 11:20 am

    I NEEDED to read this today. Last week I did barely anything besides exercise because my class only meets on Tues/Thurs and I wasn’t scheduled to work. All of my friends have gone home or are studying abroad and I’m like, well now what do I do besides sit at home and watch Netflix? I’ve been so bored, but I should’ve just looked at that as a normal resting period! Thank you for your words Lyss, they’re so wise <3 Have an amazing day love!!!

  • Reply Stephanie May 16, 2016 at 11:32 am

    Well said Alyssa, and so very true. Sometimes there seems to be an underlining competition of how busy we are! Thanks my dearest!

  • Reply Julia @ Drops of Jules May 16, 2016 at 3:05 pm

    Thank you so much for participating in MHM! Iā€™m so so so happy to read this. šŸ™‚ i totally resonate with this issue we raise. So often I feel a competitive stake with my coworkers. As RAs we all live together so we see the best and worse of once another. We know how really busy we all are and sometimes I feel like Iā€™m doing nothing in my life compared to them. I totally get this! Everyone is walking their own path in this world and it does take sense to compare between one another.

  • Reply Taylor May 16, 2016 at 3:46 pm

    LOVE this post!! Too much business IS definitely a bad thing. I do often struggle with the feeling “I’m not doing enough” or “I should be doing more.” But I do realize it is important to slow down and just relax. I am much more easy on myself on vacation these days too… I take it as a time to relax, enjoy friends, read a good book, drink more wine than usual, and just be. Sometimes it is hard for me to do nothing, but the more I remind myself how important it is, the easier it becomes part of my routine.

  • Reply Caroline May 16, 2016 at 6:30 pm

    Yes, yes, yes! I recently wrote a post kind of similar to this. But it’s just so important that we take breaks and find peace in not being “productive” all the time. Honestly, my best memories come from the times I skipped a workout to connect with a friend for coffee, or stayed up too late because I was having an awesome conversation, or a study session that got interrupted because the day was too beautiful to stay inside. Now when people “bragplain” about how busy they are, I smile and then go off and enjoy relaxation because taking care of ME helps me be more present for others. Have a lovely day girly!

    • Reply Alyssa May 17, 2016 at 2:01 pm

      I will have to check that out and your blog Caroline! The best memories do from the times I have done what I hadn’t planned to do, or been spontaneous or like you said skipped that workout. Thank you for stopping by, hope you have a lovely day as well! <3

  • Reply Cora May 16, 2016 at 9:37 pm

    Lyss, you are so wise beyond your years. I cannot tell you how wonderful this post is. I don’t know when this became such an issue in our society – but I know at some point humanity was perfectly okay with just “being” and doing as little as they need to in a day. Some cultures are still like this (inAasia EVERYONE closes shop and naps for the entire afternoon). But our society has become so addicted to the necessity of being busy. It is so not healthy and really scary for our health. I am working so hard to combat my demons telling me I should not relax – but man it is such a hard fight. Thank you for this. Everyone needs to read this.

    • Reply Alyssa May 17, 2016 at 2:00 pm

      Aw Cora, that truly means so much to me- thank you! Really do admire you and adore your blog. That’s so interesting people in Asia close shops for napping hours- I never knew that! Our society really does crave business at all times- it isn’t healthy at all! Resting is vital for our mental health. It’s time to just learn how to sit, relax, and be. Our souls really enjoy that time. šŸ™‚ Thank you so much for your support and reading!

  • Reply Emily May 16, 2016 at 9:46 pm

    Oh wow, I love this, because I think we often base our ‘worth’ in what we do, not who we are. This has been a struggle for me, but this last year God, by His grace, has taken me on a journey through Romans and seeing the huge importance of remembering that my identity is in being a child of God. I don’t get to heaven because of what I do. I can’t ‘do myself’ into heaven. I’m already His child, and that won’t ever change.

    • Reply Alyssa May 17, 2016 at 1:58 pm

      I totally agree, I feel that we do place our worth in what we do, no in who we are sometimes. You are so amazing Emily, and you are so right in that your identity is in being a child of God, not in how much you do! Love you!

  • Reply Kristy @ Southern In Law May 16, 2016 at 10:54 pm

    I love this! It’s so weird that we live in a world that almost sees relaxation as lazy rather than a good thing.

    I’m someone who loves being busy, however, I’ve realised I also need to take a time out to relax or I really can’t perform at my best!

    • Reply Alyssa May 17, 2016 at 1:56 pm

      Thank you so much Kristy! I like to be going too, but I learned that I also love my quiet time and time to do just nothing and be! Finding a balance is so important and like you said, without relaxation we can’t perform our best!

  • Reply sarah May 17, 2016 at 12:14 am

    I really like that definition for mental health, I’ve never really heard it interpreted like that before. This was really well written Lyss. I definitely struggle with feeling s sense of guilt when I’m not going, going, going. That’s silly though, as you said, relaxing and taking time for ourselves is critical for our mental health!

    • Reply Alyssa May 17, 2016 at 1:55 pm

      I loved that definition too! Learning that it is okay to not be going all the time really is so important. Taking time for ourselves is crucial and never selfish! Love you girly <3

  • Reply Jillian May 17, 2016 at 12:35 am

    I love this post Alyssa and thank you for sharing that quote because I agree that people often do wear their business as a badge of honor. Keep doing you girl <3 Love reading your blog šŸ™‚

    • Reply Alyssa May 17, 2016 at 1:54 pm

      Thank you so much Jillian šŸ™‚ Thanks for reading too, miss you tons already!! <3

  • Reply Ellie May 17, 2016 at 12:49 am

    My mantra when I’m running is “relax”. It helps decrease the pressure and focus on what I love, running itself. Great post Lyss šŸ™‚

    • Reply Alyssa May 17, 2016 at 1:53 pm

      That is a great mantra Ellie! Thank you so much for your sweet words!

  • Reply Kate May 17, 2016 at 1:00 am

    I definitely can tend to question myself during seasons of rests. Even though my body craves (and I quite enjoy it), I can’t help but wonder if I am doing enough. I want to stop seeing myself as busy so I don’t feel so rushed and tired. I want to become better about being intentional and not experience such brain fog.
    Great post, love.

    • Reply Alyssa May 17, 2016 at 1:53 pm

      I feel like sometimes when I’m really busy I crave rest, but when I’m not as busy I crave business. Isn’t it weird how the mind works? Incorporating times of rest into our weeks really is so important I think! Thank you for your support Kate šŸ™‚

  • Reply Megan May 17, 2016 at 7:18 am

    You totally hit the nail on the head. It’s so funny because someone said this exact thing on a podcast I was listening to yesterday. Making time for rest is so important, and it is definitely something I’ve noticed students struggle with!

    • Reply Alyssa May 17, 2016 at 1:51 pm

      Thank you Megan! Resting really is vital to our well-beings. Thanks for reading girly!

  • Reply Sarah @ BucketListTummy May 17, 2016 at 3:42 pm

    You are so right, Alyssa. We take pride in being so busy but it’s so easy to neglect our needs and our own health by doing so. Thanks for bringing awareness to this!

    • Reply Alyssa May 18, 2016 at 2:10 pm

      Thank you so much for reading Sarah and your kind words! <3

  • Reply WIAW – What I Eat at Home – Clusterforked May 18, 2016 at 6:35 am

    […] some time to relax and not feeling the need to be busy and have a constant flow of productivity. This post by Lyss has helped with that but me being me, even when I’m having a chilled out day I still seem to […]

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