I skipped the gym. Not once, not twice, not three times. I skipped it four times last week. I worked out three times. That’s it.
I could’ve squeezed in a workout. But I didn’t.
And the thing is? I’m fine.
There’s a big part of me that craves routine and structure. That’s just who I am. I love having a plan. I love knowing what’s next and what to expect. But this week, I didn’t. I usually workout Friday, but a doctors appointment and life got in the way. And Saturday? My parents came for parents weekend at my college. I wasn’t going to prioritize the gym over them. I just wasn’t. I’ve done that in the past, and it hasn’t made me any happier.
With a past of exercise addiction, the gym and I have had a rocky relationship. I’ve abused it, I’ve worked my ass off there when I definitely shouldn’t have even been there, and I’ve let the gym control me. A missed workout would lead to crankiness, it would lead to incredible feelings of guilt and the biggest “low” I’ve ever felt. Feelings of failure and worries that I would get “fat” consumed me and made me into someone I wasn’t proud of.
We are products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it.”
But a missed workout doesn’t cause me to feel that way anymore.
I know the gym will always be there. I know that working out is important to my health, but I also know I don’t have to kill myself every single day at the gym and make that my top priority. Working out three times last week was all I needed. I need to prioritize other things sometimes in my life and stray away from that tight routine I often crave. Going with the flow makes my soul feel pretty damn good and I think we all need to work on just living in the moment and not following a routine every single day.
There were times on Friday and Saturday where I was thinking to myself that I could have squeezed in a good workout and I could have prioritized that over other things. During these times, I remind myself to swallow my pride and practice what I preach. The gym isn’t my life and it isn’t the sole thing that makes me happy. The gym isn’t some sacred place for me like it used to be where I went every single day and spent hours there. It is just a place. It is not my life. Working out is not my life. I am not the “fit girl.” I am not defined by what workouts I do and how long I stay in the gym. I am defined by a whole heck of a lot more.
I am so thankful to be surrounded by people that constantly raise me up and remind me the importance of just living carefree and removing the expectations we place so tightly upon ourselves. We naturally expect so much from ourselves: get good grades in school, join clubs, be social, get enough sleep, workout, etc. etc. But we simply can’t do it all. Expectations lead to disappointment. That’s why we need to stop expecting so much from ourselves. We are only human and we can only do so much within 24 hours.
I exist as I am and that is enough.”
I am honestly happy to have taken that time off from the gym. I feel refreshed and more well-rested. I feel more free. Breaking away from my schedule reminds me of the importance of spontaneity in life and it shows me that I could spend hours planning for something, yet sometimes things just don’t go as planned. My three workouts last week were fun. I enjoyed them. But I also enjoyed so much more throughout my week. I enjoyed times with friends, family, my boyfriend (gasp), and time to just do nothing.
And just a special shoutout to this girl who makes my life so much better and so much brighter. She is an inspiration to me to just live in the moment and go with the flow. She shows me the power of positivity each and every day and I am so blessed to be able to call her my best friend. This girl helps me with a lot, and I am so thankful I get to do life and college with her. Find the people in life that raise you up and inspire you to be a better person, because I know for sure that Jillian! <3
That’s it for this today’s post!
Now tell me:
What helps you to be more spontaneous?
Hope you all have a happy Monday!! <3
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