Early February & Fear

February 6, 2018 in Recovery

I’ve been planning for this month since September. And it’s finally here. It’s been here for 6 days now.

A lot has happened since September. I taught at a yoga fundraiser. I taught yoga in college. I laughed with my roommate and best friend and had so many great memories with her. I cried. I smiled. I had new people enter my life. I let go of some people. I turned 21. I quit my job at GNC. I finished the semester. I covered up an old tattoo with a new one.

If there’s something I’ve learned about myself over the past year, it’s that I don’t like being afraid of things. And the stubborn part of myself hates admitting that I am afraid. I usually do the things I am very scared of, just because I like the challenge. I did yoga teacher training by myself last summer and lived at the facility- something I was freaked out by but went and did it anyways. I’ve let new people into my life, another thing that would have provoked way more anxiety in the past. I think with being afraid of something and going to do that thing anyways comes a whole lot of growth. Getting out of your comfort zone = more growth.

I am afraid of going to New Zealand. I’m going to be put out of my comfort zone in so many ways. Flying alone, being in a new continent, meeting all new people, adjusting to a new time zone, going to a different university. It’s a lot. But I love that. I love that I know I’m going to be put in a place that will help me grow. And I will make sure to remember that, even when I’m texting my mom saying I miss her or that I’m overwhelmed. Because I know I will have those moments, I’m human; and I can’t run away from my humanness.

With fear, you have to feel it. Soak it all in. And then you have to do that thing anyways. I remember back to my gymnast days when I was scared of doing a new skill. Or I was afraid of competing a routine. I didn’t have a choice but to do it. So I’m taking that approach with this study abroad experience. Because, “The beautiful thing about fear is, when you run to it, it runs away.” Conquering what we never thought we could is an amazing feeling, realizing the fire that lies within you to climb up these mountains and do what you didn’t think you could is even more-so. I know that two years ago, an experience like this would overwhelm me to no end. SO many unknowns, things I can’t control, being away from home, not having any friends with me…. but now, I have a different outlook. I know that the fears I don’t face simply become my limits.

"The beautiful thing about fear is, when you run to it, it runs away." (Robin Sharma)

Keep running towards the thing that scares you…. keep stepping outside your comfort zone. I know you can all do this! And if it seems daunting, something I remind myself and want to remind you all is to BREATHE. One foot in front of the other and just BREATHE. Stressing and worrying about what you don’t know and what is coming will only take you away from the present moment.

Thank you for reading. <3

Tell me, how do you conquer fear? 

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  • Reply Nicole @ Laughing My Abs Off February 7, 2018 at 1:45 pm

    Absolutely adore this! You’re going to be amazing in the Philippines, and I love that attitude of growth>fear. I feel like I’m similar in that I always want to be pushed out of my comfort zone, and its absolutely uncomfortable, but as long as you’ve got an awesome support network and your own willingness to grow, you will be golden 🙂
    Nicole @ Laughing My Abs Off recently posted…Random Moments of Happiness + Weekly Workout RecapMy Profile

  • Reply Heather @ Polyglot Jot February 7, 2018 at 3:31 pm

    Eeek I’m so excited for you! Time abroad is such an amazing thing to experience. 🙂 Scary but so worth it. Cant wait to hear about your time there.
    Heather @ Polyglot Jot recently posted…WIAW: A Sisterly BrunchMy Profile

  • Reply Kaylee February 10, 2018 at 1:52 am

    You should be so proud of yourself. You’ve accomplished A LOT in the past 6 months. So excited for this next adventure for you! It’ll definitely make you uncomfortable but as you said that’s where the growth happens.
    And New Zealand!!! From the pictures I’ve seen, it’s gorgeous. Can’t wait to hear and see more about it.
    Kaylee recently posted…Recent Eats: JanuaryMy Profile

  • Reply Cora February 11, 2018 at 5:23 am

    Cannot wait to hear about all you experience and learn in this next phase of your journey. You are ready for this <3
    Cora recently posted…A New Approach on How To “Listen To Your Body”My Profile

  • Reply Melanie February 12, 2018 at 12:29 am

    YES GIRL!! I love this. Fear has kept me from doing so many things in the past, but I am finally starting to not let it control me… I will be traveling to Europe in April for this same reason… to learn and GROW. I am so excited to follow your journey in NZ. I am keeping up with your Instagram 🙂 hope you are having an amazing time, Alyssa!
    Melanie recently posted…Dairy-Free BrowniesMy Profile

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