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I’m Glad I Eat at the Dining Hall…?

March 20, 2017 in Balance / College / Recovery

HAPPY MONDAY LOVE BUGS! I hope you all had the best St. Patty’s day weekend and did something fun! 🙂


Today’s post is directly for my college friends out there, but I feel like a lot of people can relate to the gist of this message regardless of if you’re a college student or not. 🙂

I’m glad I eat at the dining hall. Yep, you heard it. Yeah, I’ll complain about the food there sometimes, but I’m glad I have a meal plan at the end of the day. And I’m glad I have access to my college’s dining hall.

I’m glad I eat at the dining hall because…

  1. I don’t have time for meal prep while I’m at school. I don’t have time to make chicken & rice & broccoli on a Sunday night when I’m scrambling to finish assignments or just want to sit on my bum and drink Kombucha/read blogs. It’s not a priority for me. And for me, Netflix/blog time > meal prepping during my free time.
  2. Everyone at my school has a meal plan. It normalizes me and my eating habits. I’m not just going to sit in my room and eat my perfectly little prepped meal or bring tupperware to the dining hall while everyone else is eating food from there. Yeah, nope. That just doesn’t sound appealing to me at all.
  3. Food dates are fun. Same with coffee dates. And when your a college student, half the time those are at the dining hall. And with a meal plan, I am easily able to do that.
  4. Eating at the dining hall = relinquishing control. You don’t know how the food is prepped. You don’t know how many calories is in it. You aren’t making it yourself. You are just going to get some nourishment and fuel, and the rest doesn’t matter. Going to the dining hall is a good way to challenge a disordered mindset around food. It is a good way to just go with the flow and realize that all food really is fuel.
  5. Eating at the dining hall= giving less power to food. You don’t need your perfectly prepped overnight chia seed oats with matcha powder + coconut oil + some other nutrient straight from the earth every morning. Sometimes a bagel does the trick. Or an egg sandwich. Or a muffin. The chia see matcha coconut oil almond butter flax whatever you want to make oats just don’t happen every morning. And that is fine.
  6. It helps me keep my priorities in line. Because sometimes when I’m running in 500 directions all I can manage is a pb&j and some yogurt for lunch while on the go, and that is fine. Other things come first. Food isn’t the #1 most important thing in the entire universe. Sometimes a pb&j gets gobbled down while running late to class instead of a quinoa salad with 10 pounds of vegetables. And that is 1000% okay in my world.

So yeah. I am glad I eat at the dining hall. No, the food isn’t gourmet. But yes, I am thankful to have the privilege of eating there anyways.

No questions for today. Any thoughts are welcome!! Always appreciate them so incredibly much. 🙂 Happy Monday friends, sending tons of love!

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Go with the Flow

March 15, 2017 in Balance / Recovery

Hola friends. It’s humpppp dayyy!! Woo Woo. Going to be jumping into this post so let’s get started.


Going with the flow can be… quite the challenge for me to say the least. I like having a plan. I love routine and schedules. But I have also learned to love going with the flow and just being. Being in the moment and not wanting to be in control. Being spontaneous. Breaking my routine.

The last three weeks have been a prime example.of breaking my routine. With a whole bunch of exams and not being able to go to the gym as much, to getting sick and again not being able to really workout at all, to going on a week long service trip and not having food or exercise be any sort of priority at all.

Last week consisted of pb&j’s for lunch pretty much every day. White bagels, limited exercise besides some yoga here and there and two short runs, and not a whole bunch of fruits and veggies. Last week was a huge test to me to just learn to be. Be in the moment and fully immerse myself into what I was doing. And I think I passed that little mental test of mine. Sure, there were moments where I felt kinda “bleck” about myself, but in no way did I let that interfere with my time in West Virginia. I went with the flow. And it felt pretty freaking good.

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I haven’t had a “gym routine” in three weeks. Other things have come up within these past three weeks, and the thing is my body is doing just fine. It didn’t get all the kale salads while in West Virginia but it sure got a lot of love from others and absorbed a great deal of knowledge. The gym will always be there, so will the smoothies and nourishing meals; but experiences like the one I just had won’t.

We all know what we need. For me, I need breaks in my daily ebb and flow of life. And I think these past three weeks were a Godsend in a way to loosen up my sometimes too tight of grip and just let go. A lot of things happened that were completely out of my control. Two exams and two papers all assigned within one week, then getting really sick, and still being sick for the first half of my trip. I couldn’t control any of these things. I had to let go and let God take control. And he did a pretty dang good job of that. Because I still remained calm and content during this time. Because I finally just relaxed and went with the flow. Something that would have been incredibly difficult for me a few years back.

So listen to me on this: your body will be fine if you don’t eat all the kale salads all the time. You will be okay if you take time off from the gym. YOU WILL BE FINE. TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY FINE. The sun will still come up even if you have white bagels for a week. The earth will keep spinning if you sit on your bum bum all day instead of sweating at the gym. The gym will always be there. So will all that green food. Your mental and physical health won’t be, or the awesome experiences that come our way when we least expect it. Take ahold of those experiences. Take ahold of those amazing opportunities.

Chill out. Go take a sip of water and realize that our priorities in life change. Take a step back and just go with itGo with the flow. 

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“Let every moment be what it’s going to be. What’s meant to be will come your way. What’s not will fall away.” 

That’s it for this Wednesday loves.

Now tell me: 

Is it easy for you to go with the flow? 

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I Never Thought I’d Beat My Eating Disorder

February 27, 2017 in Recovery

Happy Monday loves. And happy NEDA week! National Eating Disorder Awareness week is obviously very important to me. So y’all can witness even more cheesiness on this blog (even though there’s already a lot).

**There is information in this post that some may find triggering. Please take care of yourself first and don’t read if you know it may effect you in a negative way. 


I never thought I’d beat my eating disorder. 

There were times where I stood and looked my parents straight in the eyes and told them I would never get over this. There were times where I flat out told my nutritionist that I wouldn’t be able to follow my meal plan. Times where I told my therapist I didn’t care about getting better because I knew I never would.

I get a lot of questions and messages from people seeking advice for recovery, people that are stuck. And I get a whole lot of the “I wish I had your strength to beat my eating disorder, because I know I don’t have it within me.” The thing is, I didn’t think I had it within me either.

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Chillin’ in the background here. A month before I entered my first treatment program at 15. 

“I am fine.” Three words that became habit too me. Denial was my middle name at first. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with my lifestyle. I was on a quest for health, became fascinated with nutrition, and just wanted to be a smaller:more beautiful of myself.

I knew what I was doing wasn’t normal, but I enjoyed it. I enjoyed having my identity as the skinny girl who knew everything and more about healthy eating, so I rolled with it. Self-punishment became a habit. But it was a habit I just couldn’t kick. My eating disorder was my addiction. It was me. So I kept on going and living the way I was living. Because I simply couldn’t picture my life without it.

There were a lot of lows, but the lows weren’t low enough for me to want to change. The lows were terrible. There is nothing quite like throwing soy yogurt at your parents or flushing a cucumber down the toilet so you don’t have to eat it. But these lows didn’t do it. I always pictured what life would be like where I wasn’t held captive to food rules and my eating disorder, but I could never picture myself living that life. My story was different than those girls who had recovered. I truly believed no one understood the battle that was going on in my head. And that everyone else who recovered was a special case. 556973_339408039489625_120496214_n.jpg

6th person to the far right in this pic before my sophomore year homecoming 

I never thought I’d beat my eating disorder. 

I liked being sick in a strange, twisted way. My eating disorder was the only thing I had. And I sure as hell didn’t want to let it go.

No strong friendships were formed, relationships with family was lost, and I completely lost myself. A war with myself that I was constantly fighting.

I never thought I’d beat my eating disorder. 

There were days were I woke up and felt like I had a tiny bit of fight within me. But then nighttime hit and it disappeared before my eyes. The fight within me faded so quickly. There were times that I fully accepted this would be the way I would live my life. I just didn’t feel strong enough to fight, so I accepted it. I accepted my life would have to be different than a lot of people’s. And I somehow became okay with that for a bit.

I became scared, because I honestly felt my body shutting down on me. Again, I accepted it at first. Obviously I wasn’t going to die. But sleeping became harder. My bones protruded too much and the one time where I had to fully escape from my living hell was taken away from me. I felt like a walking zombie. Sleeping became a challenge. Walking up the stairs left me gasping for air. The weakness in my muscles and heart led to seizures. I saw the bubble that my eating disorder created for me slowly becoming smaller. So small that I could hardly breathe anymore.

I never thought I’d beat my eating disorder. 

But after a week of tears, restlessness, seizures, pain, swallowing laxative pills day and night, I realized this couldn’t be my reality. This couldn’t. Because I wasn’t placed on this earth for the sole purpose of living in the confines of my eating disorder. I didn’t know what would come of this feeling, but I did know I wasn’t ready to leave this world yet.

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February 2013, right before a school dance 

I never thought I’d beat my eating disorder. 

But with the smallest bit of courage and fight, with the help of treatment centers, with the hope that there was a better life for me; I did. I am not a special case. I am not the only person that has been able to beat their eating disorder. I. Am. Not. A. Special. Case.

We all have a bit of fight within us. During our weakest times where we are on our knees crying. Through the times where we have felt like we have just wanted to die. Through the worst misery and pain in our lives, we all have a little bit of fight. We all have a little bit of strength. And it isn’t easy to find it. You have to dig real deep. Sometimes that strength is going to be there one day, sometimes it feels like it’s fading. Hold onto that strength despite your hardest days. For soon it won’t feel like you are searching all over for it, it will be engrained within you.

“He gives strength to the weary. And increases the power of the weak.” 

 

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Last week: February 2017 

“You have more to do

than be weighed down

by pretty or beautiful

you are a fiery heart

and a wicked brain

do not let your soul

be defined by its shell.”

I still have to dig deep to find strength. Because life tests us with obstacles and challenges. Our strength and faith will carry us through. Just yesterday, I was feeling a bit anxious for not going to the gym because I haven’t been going as much. But I took a deep breath. Turned to the lord and the people I trust the most, and realized my strength was great enough to carry me through my feelings of anxiety.

For I now know that life is far more than a workout. That life is greater than the size of my pants. That my worth is not found in what I look like. That my morality and pride is not tied with the food I eat.

“I am not this hair, I am not this skin, I am the soul that lives within.”

If you are at a time of struggle. If you are deep within your eating disorder, remember this: even though you may not feel strong enough to overcome this battle; even though you don’t think you can beat the demons in your head: I was once there. I was in your shoes. And here I am: here I am living my life to the fullest. I didn’t think I had the power within me to fully let go of my eating disorder, but I did. I am not a special case. If I can do it, you can too.

“I’m here to tell you that if you get broken, it’s possible to put yourself back together. I’m here to tell you that if you get lost, it’s possible that a light will come, dancing, on the horizon, to lead you home.”

Keep following that light. Sometimes it shines brighter than others, sometimes it’s so dim you can hardly see it. But it is ALWAYS there. That light will guide you home.

No questions today, but as always comments are so so welcome. 🙂 Thank you for reading you beautiful souls. So grateful for this community! 

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Some Reminders to Start Your Week

February 20, 2017 in College / Recovery

Happy Monday friends! I hope you all had a lovely weekend. 🙂

I’m headed into a very busy week -> two exams, two papers, leading a club event, a conference on Friday. I’m a bit stressed but I’m reminding myself this:  “it’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” I wanted to give you all (and myself) some reminders as we head into this week!

  1. Deep breathing really helps. Ya, cliché, but it does wonders. In and out friends. ee3134a652dbacd846210e3e7c83c644.jpg
  2. When it doubt, spoon it out. Not with a boy obviously, with nut butter!! Sometimes you just need a big spoonful of nut butter to make you smile. peanut-butter.jpg
  3. Sometimes life gets busy and hectic. But when we are stressed, we still have to count our blessings. There’s a whole lot to be grateful for! Stop-focusing-on-how-stressed-you-are-and-remember-how-blessed-you-are-1.jpg
  4. Things go off plan. It’s okay. Go with the flow!! We don’t need a plan for every single thing in our lives. eb9052789013a1c33d7471eec33c44de.jpg
  5. Working out isn’t everything. The food you eat isn’t everything. Your workouts do not define you. The food you consume does not define you. Repeat this to yourself over and over again until you believe it.
  6. Talk positively about yourself. -> 

    “Does the sun ask itself, “Am I good? Am I worthwhile? Is there enough of me?” No, it burns and it shines. Does the sun ask itself, “What does the moon think of me? How does Mars feel about me today?” No it burns, it shines. Does the sun ask itself, “Am I as big as other suns in other galaxies?” No, it burns, it shines.” Burn brighter. Shine longer. You are enough as is. 

  7. Be gentle with your body. If you are tired, don’t workout. If you are hungry eat. If you have a craving honor it.
  8. Take time for yourself. Take time to be alone. For solitude is a beautiful thing sometimes. And in solitude, we learn so much about ourselves.
  9. Smile. Ya, we get cranky. But you just gotta smile through it you know?? Don’t forget to smile and laugh. 1644.jpg
  10. All you can do is your best.  Put in your best effort. At the end of the day, that’s all that counts.
  11. You are not defined by numbers. You are not defined by the size of your pants, a test grade, how many minutes you workout. Your worth is not in something so frivolous.
  12.  Stop overthinking. Stop trying to please everyone. Stop living in the past. None of those things will help your growth.

And one last very important reminder: You are the only person you need to be good enough for.”

That’s it for today’s scatter-brain post friends.

Now tell me: 

Anything your reminding yourself as we enter a new week? 

Have a lovely Monday friends and kick some butt today!

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A Weekend of Intuitive Eating

February 13, 2017 in Recovery / Yummy Eats

Hi loves and happy Monday!! Hope you all had a great weekend. 🙂

I wanted to share some eats + rambles with you all today so let’s get started!

First things first: What does intuitive eating mean to me?

Out of all the questions I get asked through this blog/Instagram, I think the most popular ones are those pertaining to intuitive eating. I want to write a post in the near future on how I transitioned to intuitive eating, but today I just want to show you all some eats from a weekend that was definitely a great example of intuitive eating. For me, intuitive eating means being in tune with my body. It is accepting that what I need is different than what someone else needs. It is not denying my cravings: it is accepting and honoring them. Intuitive eating has no rules around food. There is no right or wrong. There is no morality tied to the foods I eat. Intuitive eating is eating when I am hungry, but also eating when I am not hungry.

Friday 

Friday I had plans of getting Chipotle for dinner with a friend. I had the best burrito bowl!

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This had brown rice, pinto beans, fajita vegetables, medium salsa, corn, lettuce, and guac!

My bff and I enjoyed our little dinner date and she got on the topic of how much she wanted a smoothie. Then I was like dang a smoothie does sound pretty freakin’ good right no. By no means was I hungry, but I couldn’t get my mind off that smoothie. So we drove to the mall and got ourselves some smoothies! And they were so good.

If I didn’t get a smoothie, I would have been sitting and thinking about it. I would have felt unsatisfied. Sure, I wasn’t hungry. But clearly I had a craving. And if I denied myself of that craving, I wouldn’t have been listening to my body. So I went with what my mind and body were telling me and I was so satisfied!

Saturday 

I went to bed knowing I had plans with my friend and her boyfriend for a meal in the morning, but I didn’t know what time! I rested in the morning until my friend woke up, and we ended up leaving campus around 10:40 to go grab brunch!

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We went to the cutest little juice bar. 🙂 I got a smoothie with almond milk, almonds, honey, banana, dates, and cinnamon! And a piece of multigrain toast with egg salad and avocado. So so good! I also tried (and loved) bulletproof coffee!!

In the past, this would have stressed me out. Brunch wasn’t a thing in my book. It was too anxiety-provoking. Do I eat breakfast before hand?? Or lunch after? My disordered brain couldn’t cope with brunch. 

After brunch, I headed back to campus to relax and get some reading done. About two hours after this meal, I had a banana because I was a bit hungry. And then after a workout, I had a snack. (perfect bar and fruit!) Then I went and grabbed dinner an hour after that because I had plans. This is what intuitive eating is to me. Grabbing food when I’m hungry and not worrying about when I ate last, not worrying about when I will eat next; just simply focusing on what my body wants and needs in THAT moment. Food is fun, not something to be stressing over. 

Sunday 

I went out with friends Saturday night and had a great time. I slept in a bit Sunday (10:15 is sleeping in for me!!) When I woke up I took my vitamins and some airborne because I really am trying to keep my immune system well. I had a bowl of Love Grown cereal with raspberries and almond milk plus a vanilla siggis before heading out the door to get some schoolwork done at Starbucks!

I grabbed a veinti skinny vanilla latte with coconut milk at Starbucks while reading for my Theories of Personality class. After about two hours, I left and headed to the grocery to pick up some food. When I got back to my room (around 2:30) I snacked on some rice cakes with peanut butter and celery with hummus while watching One Tree Hill. 🙂 About an hour and a half later I had another snack (cliff bar + kombucha!) And around 6 ish I had dinner plans before church.

When I got back from church, I was craving a Lenny and Larry’s cookie, so I obviously had one of those.

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It is okay to eat close together. Because I slept in a little later, my meals were kind of all over the place. But it’s okay because my body knows what’s up. I just started my day with a bowl of cereal, but right before i left for Starbucks my body was like yoooo I’m hungry so I grabbed a yogurt while running out the door! And while I was watching One Tree Hill, I was thinking about how much I wanted a kombucha so I grabbed one. Simple as that. 

If you deny your body of what it wants, you aren’t going to stop thinking about it. That’s when food obsession comes in. If you want the latte instead of just a black coffee go get the freaking latte. If you want the cookie eat the cookie. The more you deny yourself of what you actually want, the more you’re brain is going to be clouded by thoughts of food. 

That’s it for today’s post friends! Hope you all enjoyed it.

As always, leave any thoughts you have about this in the comments! You know I love reading them. 🙂 

Now tell me: 

Favorite thing you ate this weekend? (Mine was def that brunch!!)

Have the best Monday peeeps. Go do something that’ll make ya smile! 🙂

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How Orthorexia Has Effected Me

February 10, 2017 in Balance / Recovery

Hi guys! Happy Friday. 🙂  MA got hit with a tonnn of snow. Which I love/hate at the same time. But hey, least lots of snow means snow days!!

Jumping into today’s post because intros suck lol. This topic has been on my mind a lot recently. Orthorexia. For those of you who don’t know, orthorexia is the obsession with eating only healthy foods. It’s basically being fixated on how clean your eating. My good friend Sage shared her journey with orthorexia on her blog, and inspired me to share my own journey with it. (This gal rocks. So thankful to go to school with someone as cool/down to earth/sweet as her!!)

Orthorexia friggin sucks. For me, this is how my eating disorder started. I was obsessed with “clean eating.” At first, it was not about restriction. It was about “Is this organic? I can’t eat this and that because the ingredients are chalk full of artificial sweeteners. I can only grocery shop at Whole Foods and I need to spend at least an hour and a half there so I can analyze the back of every product I am buying.”

Let me tell ya from first hand experience: living with orthorexia takes a toll on all aspects of your life. My mind was clouded by thoughts of food: anxiety about food, worry about food, planning the next day of meals. My social life was impacted, and my relationship with my family members. If I wasn’t going to eat white pasta from home, there was no way I would go out to a restaurant and eat food with unknown ingredients. Jeez what if they put too much oil on the chicken or if I ask for whole wheat pasta and bread but they accidentally gave me white!! These were my daily worries and struggles, and man was it sad to live that way.

The thing is, with eating “cleaner” I lost weight in the process. And I loved the compliments I was getting, I loved the attention. I loved feeling in control of ONE thing in my life. So I kept on eating “healthy” but I started to eat a bit less and less. And that of course led to anorexia, which is a whole other story from today’s blog post.

It was a hard battle getting out of this whole health obsessed mindset. I don’t really have one way I did it. I don’t have a few tips to make it all go away, because jeez it was hard for me to just relinquish control and tell my brain to shut the heck up, it was hard to just eat a cookie and not have it be a mental battle of feeling bad for eating a regular cookie and not a “clean” one. i just really had to train my brain to get out of labeling foods as good and bad. I had to train my brain into the mentality that all foods fit. That means that it is JUST as important to have cookies as it is to have carrots. All foods fit for a happy lifestyle. When I would feel bad for eating something less nutrient dense, I really had to get mad at my brain and my thoughts. I would have to in a way give myself a little pep talk. Something along the lines of “Okay Lyss, you wanted that ice cream so you had the freakin’ ice cream. It tasted great. You love ice cream. Life is meant for fun foods too. Now move the heck on.”

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I am courageous. I am whole. I stand in my own power.

Another tip of advice: if you are part of the Instagram world, please be cautious of who you follow. (I am going to go on an unfollow spree soon as well). There are so many accounts that are just filled with all “clean and healthy” foods. And I just don’t think that’s normal. If we’re being 100% real here, those accounts have subconsciously affected me, which is why I know it’s time for a little unfollow cleanse on Instagram. When someone’s eating roasted veggies and hummus for a snack, eating a salad for dinner, and eating a green puke colored smoothie for dessert, that’s when I know I gotta let them do their own thang and I gotta do mine. When someone is posting all quest bars, artic zero pictures, 0 calorie syrup, diet foods, etc. I gotta let go of them too. Because they aren’t serving me and my growth.

In all honesty, it’s so freakin’ easy to get caught up in this whole health nut craze. Sometimes I label myself as that, and I never want to only be known as the healthy girl who likes the gym and going to yoga. Because there’s a whole lot more to me than that. In all honesty, sometimes I need to take the stick out of my a$$ and just get a cookie or a brownie. My best friend gave me a little pep talk about this last week. Not that I am struggling with this, but it was just a nice reminder that going out and letting lose with food is just as important as getting in all your fruits and veg. (Gosh I love that girl lol).

There are some gals who really inspire me with their relationship with food. Kylie from Imma Eat That, Kate from The Domestikated Life, and Robyn from The Real Life RD are some awesome ladies who live a BALANCED life with food. BALANCE. That is what we should all strive for. Balance with food means that all foods do fit, it means that you listen to your body and honor your cravings, that you don’t turn into an obsessive freak with ingredients/ how healthy something is. It means food doesn’t take up all your brain space. Balance means you get the cookie one day and the salad another day. But if you want two cookies you get two cookies. And if you want a smoothie and a salad in the same day you do that too. You don’t complicate things, because food is just food. 

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“I’ve learned that when you try to control everything, you enjoy nothing.”

No questions today, just would love to hear your thoughts and input on this! And if you have any fun weekend plans, drop ’em in the comments! Hope you all enjoy the weekend. Get some rest and do something FUN! Sending all the love and hugs. <3 

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Stop seeking External Validation

January 30, 2017 in Recovery

Hi frandzzzz. Happy Monday!! How were all your weekends?! Whatever you did I hope you had tons of fun and got some rest in!!

I wanted to make a video for today’s post because if ya know me, you know I love talking about deep things and could probably ramble on forever about some stuff. So why not put my awkwardness and rambles into video form, am I right?! This has been a topic that’s been on my mind the last week or so, and I really wanted to discuss it with y’all! Because the way we feel about ourselves should never be determined by someone else. We should never, ever put our validation and self-worth in the hands of others. Alllll of that comes from WITHIN!

 

Thank you for watching and for just being so awesome!!

If you have any thoughts, drop ’em below!! You already know I love reading them. 🙂 

Have a lovely Monday friends. 🙂

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The “yoga body”??

January 23, 2017 in Recovery

Hi guys and happy Monday! Hope you all had a good weekend. I had a great first weekend back at school and it was great being with my friends again. 🙂

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My best friend Jillian and I 

Anyways, I wanted to talk to y’all about something that’s been bugging me a bit.

I feel like there’s this idea that all yogi’s are pretty slim and have the most defined abs. I don’t know, maybe I’m wrong. But it’s just what I’ve been feeling and sensing off Instagram. All the super popular and famous yogi Instagrams are of girls who really don’t have the typical body. They don’t have rolls on their stomach or cellulite on their thighs, which is obviously something a whole lot of women have.

I guess what bugs me the most about this is is that yoga is not even all about the workout in my opinion. It is so much more. It is a practice that welcomes all people, of all sizes, and of all ages. And no one should ever feel intimated to step into a yoga class because they may not have a six-pack or their core may be a bit fluffier than that girl who posted a picture of her crow on Instagram.

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The thing is, I could do all the core exercises in the world and I would never have a six-pack. I’m never going to look like @the_southern_yogi on Instagram. And that is okay! Does that mean I’m not fit for yoga? Absolutely not. My legs will always have some stretch marks. My stomach is never going to be completely flat. And that is okay. That doesn’t mean I’m not capable of doing yoga. We often forget of all the amazing things our bodies can do because we are so focused on what they look like. I don’t have the most toned body but I am still able to do headstands, handstands, and different inversions. I am capable of all these things even though the rolls on my stomach show when I sit. (which most everyone’s do!!)

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One of the things I love so much about entering a yoga class is the diversity of people there. There are men and women. There are people of different ages. And we all look different. Can you imagine if we all looked the same and were stick thin with toned abs? Idk, if ya ask me that would just be pretty freakin’ weird.

I went to a new yoga studio last week and I really connected with the teacher. Her outlook on yoga was so inspiring and eye-opening for me. The energy she brought to the practice was tangible and I loved how the environment was so opening and accepting. Each woman in that studio was there for her own reason, and each woman was accepting of that. There was NO judgment or shame in that room. The teacher ended the practice saying that yoga is not about working out. It’s about working within. When she said that I was just kinda like “woahhhhh.” I’ve never thought of yoga like that. Because to be honest, I get caught up in the competition of it all. I get frustrated when I can’t do a certain inversion and I get jealous sometimes that I am not as good or as strong as @the_southern_yogi. Sometimes I feel like I always have to be doing a fast flow or I get trapped in the idea that I don’t even look like I do yoga. I’m not perfect and I will never claim to be. Because I do get caught in these detrimental thought cycles like each and every other person out there.

But the thing is there is not right or wrong body type for yoga. All you need is a body, a mat, and an open mindset. Go into your practice with the mindset that this is a practice working from within. There is no right or wrong body type for yoga. Yoga is what you make of it. If your body isn’t capable of doing a bridge, don’t do it. It doesn’t make you a bad yogi. Just modify it. But maybe you’ll be able to do another pose instead that someone else can’t do. Yoga meets us where we are, and it knows exactly where we need to be. Entering into yoga with this open mindset instead of a poor attitude and the belief that your body isn’t fit for this practice won’t get you anywhere. Accept your body for what it is and have fun with it. This isn’t even a practice of how you look. This is a practice of how you feelIf you feel good at the end of your practice, that’s all that counts. Not if your body doesn’t look like the girl next to you in a headstand. All of that is so insignificant. Trust your feelings in that moment and leave the studio with those feelings of strength and confidence. In my opinion, that’s the most beautiful thing about yoga. It has nothing to do with the whole body type, six-pack ab crap or those perfect poses we see on Instagram. It’s about that feeling of confidence we get when we finish a practice, that overwhelming sensation of strength.

Comment any thoughts you have on this. I’d love to hear them!! 

Have a lovely Monday friends. 🙂

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Push past your Fear

January 12, 2017 in Recovery

Happy Thursday loves!! I hope you have been enjoying your weeks thus far!

I wanted to touch on something I have struggled with, and something I am working on in my life currently. Fear. And not letting fear dictate the choices I make.

When we think of fear, we typically think of what makes us afraid. Things we don’t want to do, things that make us nervous and send a shiver up our spine. So our natural instinct is to obviously avoid those things. Because the thought of doing what makes us afraid is uncomfortable. It feels unnatural. And as humans we love our comfort zone, and we like knowing what to expect.

There are a whole bunch of things I’m afraid of, and I’m sure there are a lot of things you all are afraid of as well. It is 100% normal to have fears. But what is not normal is to let those fears dictate your life.

I’m afraid of failure. I’m afraid of disappointing not only others, but also myself. I have a whole bunch of fears surrounding relationships after my past one. I have fears of what the future will hold. I am afraid that I am not going to end up in the career I want, that I won’t get accepted into yoga teacher training or my internship. I have a whole bunch of fears.

I was talking to my therapist about some of these the other day during our session. I told her that I just didn’t want to talk or get involved with any guys for a long time and would block out any emotions I had towards someone to avoid getting hurt. And she kinda just smirked at me like a “cmon Lyss ya know that sounds silly.” And I was like ya no it doesn’t. But then after talking more through it, I realized how I was letting fear dictate my life and my choices.

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“Delight yourself in the LORD & he will give you the desires of your heart.” 

We cannot give fear the power to paralyze us. I have done that in the past. Whether it was the fears surrounding food and my body when I was deep in my eating disorder, the fear of trying new activities or hanging out with different people, the fear of getting my feelings hurt by a guy; I ran away from those fears and avoided all of those things. And instead of tackling them I let them control the way I lived my life. And clearly, that wasn’t effective.

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“What we fear of doing most is usually what we most need to do.” 

This past semester I did what I feared, and I needed to do that. I needed to get in that relationship, because I needed to discover more about myself. Just from being with that person for a short three months, I learned so incredibly much about myself, what I value, and the way I want to be treated. Did the outcome suck? Yeah! But it is what I needed to do. I needed to do what I feared so I could GROW AND BLOSSOM.

I think what is so crucial to remember is that conquering our fears is going to help us in the long run no matter what the outcome may me. If things go well when you face your fears, you will grow. And if things don’t go well, you will also grow. So there is nothing to lose. Because we ultimately become a better version of ourselves when we face our fears. But when we don’t and we hide behind them, there is no room for self-improvement. And isn’t that the point of life? To better ourselves each and every single day?? I sure think so. I  know that’s what I strive for. In the morning when I wake up I ask myself, “How can I be a better Lyss than I was the day before?”

“Which do you want: the pain of staying where you are, or the pain of growth?”

Of course, growth is freakin’ painful sometimes. God, it was painful for me this past month/two months. But I needed that pain to get where I am right now.

So by the end of my therapy session, I was like you know what you are 100% right. I can’t just avoid the things I am afraid of the rest of my life and hide behind a wall. Sure, my main goal is in no way getting a boyfriend; but I can’t be afraid of relationships and have the belief that each and every one of them is bad. Because that isn’t true. I can’t let fear dictate the way I view my life, I can’t let fear dictate my decisions or take away from my positivity.

bloom beautifully

dangerously

loudly

bloom softly

however you need

just bloom”

I am a firm believer that God and the universe works wonders on each and every one of us. God has a plan that is so much greater than we could ever imagine. And that plan involves fear. Pain. Hurt. Tears. Anger. Frustration. But that plan also involves growth. Smiles. Laughter. Joy. And that’s what makes God’s plan just so freakin’ beautiful in my eyes.

  Now tell me: 

What is one thing that helps you overcome fear? 

Have a great day loves. Hope you get in a good belly laugh today and splurge on a Kombucha. 🙂

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No regrets, just lessons learned

January 9, 2017 in Recovery

Hi guys and happy Monday! Last week at home for me before I go back to school… eeeeeep!

Anyone else get tons of snow this weekend? I left the house once Saturday to workout but that was it. The roads were pretty dang bad!

Anyways, let’s just into today’s post because it’s something that’s been on my mind a lot.

No regrets, just lessons learned. 

I don’t care who you are, we all have regrets. We all wish we did things certainly at one point or another. Or we could get a time machine and go back to change how we acted in a certain situation/how that situation played out.

Flashback to about a month-ish ago. I was driving and I literally just SCREAMED so friggin loudly because that feeling of regret him me so hard. I just got so mad at myself for letting things in my life spiral so out of control. “If I did this differently, this wouldn’t have happened. Or if I stayed single, I wouldn’t have felt this way, etc. etc. etc.” The feelings of regret and frustration with myself hit me so awfully hard during that car ride. It started with frustration, but it eventually led to tears. Because it hurt me! And that’s okay to admit. I was hurt and my emotions were all over the place.

A few weeks later looking at pictures from the summer, this feeling hit me even harder. It sucked seeing pictures from before this all happened. And again, those “what if” questions kept itching their way back into my brain. “What if I did this differently? What if I spoke up when I so desperately wanted to?” You all know how detrimental those what if questions are. They hit so close to home. And they drive you crazy, because there simply is no answer to those questions. So we sit and think about them, we sit and dwell on them. And that is what I did all that night.

It wasn’t until the end of December where I had a big realization. There is nothing to regret from what happened these past couple months. Sure, it sucked. Sure, it hurt a whole lot. The depression, the tears, losing myself… it all hurt. But I learned SO much from it all. I learned that I can never settle in a relationship, and I learned how I don’t want to be treated. I learned what I do value in a relationship. I learned better coping skills for my depression. I learned that life can throw you some pretty crappy moments, but that God will never give us more than we can handle. And I could handle it. I’ve handled hard times before, and I handled this challenging time just fine. I got through, and I came out a whole lot stronger.

“This is where I start my comeback. I will spend no more time asking God why doors have been closed because I’ll be too busy praising God for doors that are about to open.”

Train yourself to find the blessing in everything.” 

We need to train ourselves to find the blessing in every single obstacle life throws at us. Because if we don’t, if we have that “why me” attitude, we are not going to grow.

I was talking to my friend Jimmy Saturday night, and I wanted to share something from our convo because it was a pretty awesome one. (but they are always awesome with him!)

And I don’t want people to feel pity for me. Bc I truly understand why god put this hardship in my life and I’m okay with it. Because flowers get stepped on but they still grow after. And that’s just like me. I got stepped on a whole lot these past two months. But here I am blooming despite all that. 

We are going to get stepped on in life and we are going to get bruises. We are going to get wounds and we are going to hurt. We can’t keep picking at those wounds or they are never going to heal. We can’t keep dwelling on those hard times and getting mad that they happened to us. Instead, we must embrace the difficulties life gives us. We must embrace God’s plan and even though it isn’t always so easy to do so; we must fully accept that in the midst of challenging times, we always do learn some pretty amazing lessons.

“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you. They’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” Amen to that!! 

That’s it for today guys. Thank ya for always letting me share what’s on my  mind. And for reading it! Love you all and hoping you have the best Monday. <3

Let me know what you think in the comments too! If you can relate/if you have felt the same way at one point of your life/etc. Always love hearing what y’all have to say!

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