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Pain Enables Growth

August 21, 2017 in Recovery

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“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”

-Maya Angelou 

The hurt I have experienced in this life has most definitely changed me. I am not the same person I was before I was shattered into billions of pieces. I will never be the same young girl with an innocent heart and a soft smile.

If you follow me on Instagram (@blissful_lyss29), I posted a poem I wrote on a similar topic Sunday night shining light on my imperfect, fallible, and unglamorous story in this 20 years on earth thus far. Filled with pain, struggle, confusion, anxiety, darkness, self-defeating thoughts, and a lack of purpose: my story is chaotic and I have been lost on this road so many times. When we experience any sort of trauma, we are going to be changed. Hard times in life provoke shifts in our lives.

We have a conscious say in how we let our obstacles impact us. Just like Maya Angelou said, we can be changed by what happens to us, but we should never be reduced by it. 

Do you know what is so lovely about hardships? Growth. We become wiser, we become more resilient, we are filled to the cup with tenacity. Without the universe throwing us pain, how would we be able to cultivate so much power? I believe the universe never gives us more than we are capable of handling. Even when our hurt becomes so intense and our lives become so messy, we are able to bounce back.

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“The world gives you so much pain and here you are making gold out of it.”

-Rupi Kaur

Make gold out of your adversities. Do not look at your hardships with the mentality that “this is not fair.” That will not help you blossom. Shift your thinking. Look at your pain with the mindset that this will catapult you into something wonderful. Do not let your struggles put you at a stand-still. Nothing in life is capable of dragging you down unless you let it.

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“Magic happens when you do not give up even though you want to. The universe always falls in love with a stubborn heart.” 

Let the universe fall in love with your determination. Let it be in complete admiration of your relentlessness to flourish despite your battered and bleeding heart.

I have let my hurt change me, but I will never let it make me smaller. I will never let what has happened to me trim down my unique edges. I am not ashamed of my hardships. I am not embarrassed that my eating disorder, anxiety, and depression generated years of struggle and tears. These illnesses will never define me, yet they have guided me into a more enlightened human with a whole lot more love for herself and the world.

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“Pain can change you, but that doesn’t mean it has to be a bad change. Take that pain and turn it into wisdom.” 

 

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A Brief Q&A

August 18, 2017 in About Me / Recovery

Happy Friday loves! How has your week been? Weird how time just keeps flyin’ by so dang quickly.

Answering some questions I get asked a lot here today and rambling about some other stuff with you friends so let’s get started.

Do you track macros? 

Nope! Never have and never will. I think it’s too time consuming and takes away from me living my best live. I would much rather be engaged and in the moment than worrying about how many macros I was eating.

Calories vs listening to your body? 

I don’t believe that any human should have to count calories. In recovery from an ED that may be a different story, but any other individual should never feel obligated to count how many calories they’re consuming. When we count calories and put a limit on how much we can or can’t eat, we are confusing our bodies and throwing its natural hunger signals off. Our bodies sends us so many messages and it is such a shame to not listen to them. Honor and respect these signals, eat when you are hungry, listen to your mental hunger, stop when you are full, respect your cravings, give your body the downtime it needs… treat yourself with love and admiration: not with rules and regulations.

Tips for healthy hair? 

My hair became very thin during my ED. I lost a lot of my hair, and I didn’t take any supplements to get it back. I know that collagen can be a huge help for healthy and thicker hair, but I just trusted the process. I gave myself enough nutrients and let food truly heal me: including healing my hair! I have thick and healthy hair now and I am so blessed.

Tips for staring yoga? 

I started in a studio, but I think starting at home or a beginners class is great too. Get yourself a mat and just see where this practice takes you. There is no timeline for yoga to learn a certain pose by, that’s what’s so beautiful about this practice. It’s just you and your mat, and you evolving on your mat. Find a studio you like, connect with a teacher who makes your practice even more wonderful, develop a practice at home, check out the yoga videos on YouTube!

Overcoming fear foods? 

I had to stop labeling foods as good and bad in my mind. Sure, there are some foods that are more nutritious, but that does not make those foods “better” than another. And it did not make me a better human if I only ate those foods. Untying my morality from the food I ate helped me grow tremendously in overcoming my fear of certain foods. Another thing that helped me was incorporating the foods I was afraid of back into my diet at a steady pace. Instead of eating all the things that used to scare me, I slowly added them back in, used my coping skills, and practiced self-compassion for myself when I ate these foods that used to terrify me. Food should never be scary, it is simply fuel for our bodies and minds!

Favorite quotes lately? 

Why don’t we all take a lesson

from the sun

that consistently shows up 

every morning 

just to illuminate our worlds

inspite of how it burned

in its own heat 

all night?”

“You got to learn how to vibe alone. You can’t live your life being dependent on other sources of energy. You have the ability to be self sufficient so tap into yourself once in a while.”

The only thing I know is this: I am full of wounds and still standing on my feet.”

You will grow from the dirt they left you in.”

“Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden where the flowers are dead.”

Thanks for reading guys!!

Tell me:

What’s your favorite quote lately? 

Do you take anything for healthier hair?! 

Weekend plans? 

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What is my Fitness Philosophy? // (Video!!)

August 14, 2017 in Balance / Recovery

Happy Monday friends. Hope you soaked up some sunshine this weekend and did something kind for yourself.

Filmed a video for you all today so I’ll just let my voice in there do all the talking for today.

“Work out because you love your body, not because you hate it.” 

Comments welcome as always!! <3

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8 Ways to Bring More Good Energy into your Life

August 11, 2017 in Balance / Recovery

HI FRIDAY. What’s up!! But also August why are you going by so quick?? Mixed feelings for you.

I focus a lot on good energy, and ways that I can cultivate more in my life. Because when I have good energy in my heart, I feel like a more complete human. And good energy is contagious, so I always want to spread it to others. We attract the energy we give off- so it’s so important to give off beautiful energy you know?

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1. Write a list of things you’re grateful for in your journal every day (or most days)! This is a lovely reminder for me that there is always something to smile about, even on the crappiest of days. Appreciate your blessings amongst the midst of struggles. Something that’s hard to do, but something that is so worth it.

2.  Listen to feel-good music. I love working out to rap and such, but man do I love my reggae/ feel-good music. Some suggestions for you: Trevor Hall, Nahko and Medicine for the People, Rebelution, SOJA, Jack Johnson. Switch up your tunes guys. Music carries so much power in its lyrics. Music= medicine.

3. Stop resisting change. We are dynamic creatures, meaning that change is inevitable. Stop trying to control everything. I always remind myself to be more like a river and just friggin’ flow. We bring so much more peace into our minds when we learn to truly surrender and just let go.

4. Get outside and be in nature. There is something to be said for just escaping into the outdoors and being one with the environment. Our world is so beautiful and sometimes we just float by this life without even appreciating it. Get outside, get into the woods, go to the mountains. Let yourself feel connected to the trees beside you and the flowers beneath you. Let the stillness of nature bring more stillness into your heart and soul.

5. Cultivate a yoga practice suited for you. Your yoga practice does not have to be a power heated class every single day and I believe that is a big misconception. Sometimes yoga is just getting on your mat and moving slow. Sometimes it’s a vinyasa flow. What’s so beautiful about yoga is how it yolks the mind, body, and breath… but we have to actually bring those things together on our mat! Listen to what your body needs and remove the feelings of what you “should” be doing.

6. Meditate. Meditation is a tough practice. But actually working at it can take you so far. I started with the app Headspace and went from there. There are videos on YouTube as well! When meditating remember to remove judgment against the self. Let the thoughts flow in and out and accept wherever you are at that present moment.

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7. “Your vibe attracts your tribe.” Surround yourself with other humans who bring light into your world. Stick with the people who truly make you feel good. Relationships should bring out the magic within your soul, not make you feel weighed down and uneasy.

8. Always work at loving yourself more. It’s a daily practice. It’s a daily choice to spread love to yourself. Some days it’s harder than others. But at the end of the day, it is our priority to cultivate respect for ourselves. Our self-worth gets lost when we view ourselves in the eyes of other individuals. We must stay strong in the belief that we always deserve our own love and affection.

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Do you meditate? 

What helps you relax? 

Have the best weekend friends!! Sending lots and lots of love. <3 

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An Open Letter to My Depression

August 4, 2017 in Recovery

*This post may contain triggering content for some. Take care of yourself always.*

I met you when I was in the midst of my eating disorder. You came like a hurricane, so fierce and strong. Combined with my eating disorder, you were certainly a force to be reckoned with. Just like a hurricane, I had to let you run your course. So young me at just 15 years old sat in awe at the power of your winds. I let you sweep me away.

At first I understood why you were there. I was starving myself, so I was sad. All. The. Time. But 4 years later, I didn’t understand why you wanted to come back. I let you run your course. I picked up your mess and let your winds make me cold. You showed me what it was like to be so scared and exhausted. You brought anti-depressants into my life. I already dealt with your torrential rain but you came back with a calm in your eye knowing your rain had the ability to hit me even harder.

I didn’t understand at first why I felt so sad. I had everything I wanted-friends, a college education, a blog, a wonderful family, a boyfriend, activities that I loved.  At first I was really good at shaking you off. If I felt the slightest bit of sadness I could pretend like you weren’t there. It was easy. Put on a smile and pretend like all was well. But with time, you wouldn’t go away so easy. You latched onto me like glue and boy was it tiring trying to peel you off.

Tears fell, drop by drop, on my pillow case. Every night you brought a feeling of emptiness into my chest, a pit in my stomach. Dreading the day ahead of me before it even started. I still had you under control though. With the help from friends I was able to peel you off my side and move with a smile through at least half the day.

No one understood how easily you could creep in. So sly and quiet, so effortlessly you came back onto my side. Your dark clouds caged every ounce of joy I had left in me. My friends and family tried tirelessly to remove you from my side but you pulled me too far in. Your thunder was so loud and your rain made me shiver. Making it through the day was a victory, but I could never break free completely. At night time you returned fiercely. As if the darkness wasn’t enough at night, you brought more darkness into my mind. These demons made me feel like I was sinking so deeply and my tears added to your rain- flooding everything around me and gasping for air. I used to love nighttime and seeing the stars from my window. But you made nighttime dreadful. You took away the stars and made me feel so alone. There was not the tiniest bit of light.

When people asked how I was feeling, I could never articulate it into words. So you always just had me say “fine.” It was an automated response. You told me I was fine, you told me the people in my life were fine. You made me believe that it was normal walking around wanting to cry all day, living a life with a cloud over your head and feeling undeserving of happiness. But the hardest thing you made me feel? Worthless. Worthless of love, worthless of life, worthless of joy. You made me keep all this in for it was my hurricane I was stuck in, not anyone else’s. Only I deserved the cold downpour on my bare skin.

I was tired of walking through your winds. I was exhausted living with you by my side. You sucked all of the energy out of me and all I wanted to do was sleep. Sleep was my escape from the world, and I needed all the breaks I could get from you. I thought about taking a permanent break several times for I felt I could not keep living in this world if you were in it.

I didn’t think I had a breaking point. I was invincible. I was strong. I was the person that people looked up to for recovering from an eating disorder. But every person cracks. And my goodness did I crack in many different places.

But it was a Saturday night where I couldn’t take you any longer. I felt so worthless of life and I couldn’t do this whole “having hope” thing any longer. I couldn’t dare to live another day for there was nothing else to live for. I didn’t know what I loved anymore for you took that from me.  You took my passions and my positivity right from the palms of my hands. I was in so much pain and agony. My mind was worn-out. You had taken a toll on me. The days and nights of turmoil that you caused me made my soul so exhausted. So I did what you told me to do: I picked up the scissors and cut my wrist. It was the only way you said I could cope with the pain. So I did just that. I watched as I precisely made marks on my wrists, tears running down my face hitting the pillow case with such ease. I was broken.

Dear depression, you were a ferocious hurricane- so strong you tore me apart. But you did not sweep me off this planet.

Dear depression, I do not hate you. I am not angry with you anymore. I am not ashamed of you. You proved to me how much of a fighter I truly am. Because of you, you opened to my eyes to the idea that it is okay to struggle. You showed me that it is okay to reach out for help in times of darkness. Dear depression, because of you, you taught me that I am a resilient human being. I can do all things, I can conquer the toughest of battles. Dear depression, thank you for showing me that I am stronger than my younger self could have ever imagined.

Dear depression, because of you, I am able to help others going through the struggles I once did. I am able to show people the beauty that is living. I am able to show people that they are worthy of life even when every thought in their mind is convincing them otherwise.

Dear depression, thank you for making me appreciate each inhale and exhale. Thank you for giving me gratitude for every day on this amazing planet. Thank you for showing me that life throws some pretty big waves and teaching me that I am capable of surfing them. You gave me the strength to ride these waves, no matter how big they get on some days.

Dear depression, you hurt me. You made me feel weak. You made me feel alone. But you did not take me from my loved ones and from the things I loved. You allowed me to grow into a wiser human, one that is always aware of her self-worth and magic within her veins. 

To my depression- you tried to control my life. But just a reminder, I am the one in control. I control my happiness. I control my thinking. I can conquer your storm, no matter how big it is.

I am worthy of love. I am worthy of this space on Earth. I am worthy of laughter and a life of smiles. I am so damn worthy. 

Thank you depression for awakening the belief in me that I am strong in my own power.

*To anyone that is struggling with depression, I am here for you. I am always an email/ Instagram/ Facebook message away. You are not alone in your battle. Have faith. Believe in the good things coming.*

Xoxo

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Passions other than Fitness & Food

July 31, 2017 in Recovery

I was thinking about this the other day. My passions other than fitness and food. And boy do I have a lot. But the thing is, there was a time where fitness and food was all I had and cared about.

If your workouts and the food you eat is the most important thing in your life, I really advise you to take a step back and reevaluate things a bit. First off, there is so much more to the foods we eat and the workouts we do. I have said it before, and I will continue to say it. At the end of the day no one cares if you drank a green juice and ran five miles. Your character and the energy you bring into the world is far more important.

If you can’t find anything you really love besides working out and going to Whole Foods, I would take that as a red flag for yourself to explore other hobbies and activities. I’m tired of fitness and food becoming such an obsession for people. Sure, there is nothing wrong with working out and eating a salad but that should not be the only thing you care about.

How can you dive deeper than your gym workouts and logging every macro into your phone?

-> Step outside yourself. Go volunteer. Go help out a friend or a family member. Serve others. It does wonders for your soul.

-> Follow people on Instagram who do not just post their workouts and food all the time. Find a good quote page, a new writer, a funny dog page. There’s so much out there besides fitstagrams. And it’s really refreshing to log onto Instagram and not have your entire page be someone flexing.

-> Try a new hobby. Coloring, journaling, reading, knitting, playing an instrument. Anything. Try something new and different. Broaden your horizons. I promise you there are things out there for you that you will love besides the gym.

-> Take a break from your scheduled workouts and move your body in a different way. Hike. Walk. Ride your bike. Do yoga. Swim.

-> Connect with something bigger than yourself. Whether you are spiritual or religious, spend time connecting to that higher power. Go be alone and nature and pray. Open your Bible. Spend time with that greater power.

-> Spend more time with friends. Don’t cancel plans with friends because of a workout or because you want to stay home and cook your own dinner. That is first off disordered and secondly feeding into the obsession with food and fitness. Go out with your friends, experience the true beauty that human connection is, and have fun. Keep these bonds with friends tight.

->Journey, adventure. Remove your doors and layers. 7531871ae6f2bc989dc291b8b73cfd40.jpg

-> One last important quote:

“find the place
your flowers grow tallest,
and water yourself there.

follow your passions
like bees to nectar,
meet your truth
in the things you love.”

Now tell me: 

What are some of the things you are passionate about besides food and fitness?

alllll the love <3

Xoxo

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GUEST POST: Lindsey’s Journey with Yoga

July 16, 2017 in Balance / Recovery

Happy Sunday friends!! My lovely friend has an amazing post for you. This gal rocks, and y’all  need to check out her blog!

Her story is a true testament to how amazing this practice of yoga is! Enjoy friends. <3


When I started practicing yoga, it was for the exercise and calorie burning. I was still deep in my eating disorder, had to stop running due to injuries, and wasn’t allowed by my support system to have a gym membership. I spent hours in the hot yoga studio practicing Bikram yoga, until I was forced to give it up during treatment. After discharging from treatment, I went back to that type of hot yoga, only to discover I had a back injury that would sideline me from any activity for months.

I stumbled upon the meditative vinyasa flow of the Baptiste Yoga practice while trying to find a way to get back into exercising. I will admit, it was mostly eating disorder driven. I knew this wasn’t “hot yoga” but it was a way to exercise regardless. I did not step into the yoga studio I found with the intention of falling in love with the practice, and in turn, finding myself. It is only because God is GOOD that those things happened. He used a physical practice to reach me when my mind was so disconnected from my body that I could hardly feel emotions.

Through yoga, I found out exercise could be FUN. That it wasn’t a competition, a test to see how far I could push myself, or a way to give myself permission to eat. Yes, I still struggle with those things, but my yoga practice has still been very healing for my exercise addiction and eating disorder. When I got on my mat, I found I could get out of my head. I could focus on nothing but breathing for an hour. When I focused on breathing, I connected to my body. When I connected to my body, I found truth.

The truth I found on my yoga mat did more for my recovery than any amount or form of treatment did. In the quiet space between the inhales and exhales, I was emptied. I began to see my eating disorder and exercise addiction for what it really was. Harmful. Punishing. Ineffective. When I was emptied, I had to then find ways to fill the space inside me. Yoga helped me begin to fill it with truths, replacing the lies I had believed for so many years.

My body is in love with me. It is constantly doing all it can to keep me alive and well.

My body saves me. Despite my best efforts to destroy my physical being, I am still here.

I am not my body. I am Lindsey. And that is so much more than a size or weight or shape.

I have to take care of my body. I daily pay consequences of having an eating disorder for over a decade. My body has healed amazingly, but it is still the only one I get.

I am not invincible.

I have everything I need inside of me, because God is inside of me, and God is everything I need.

How I practice on my mat, is how I do life. If I push, am impatient and judgmental in my practice- I am like that in life also. If I am gentle, give myself grace and space, I will do that off my mat as well.

My body is strong, nut more importantly, so is my mind.

Peace starts from within.

Yoga has helped shape me into the happiest, best version of myself. I am more free than I have ever been, because I no longer rely on approval from others or my eating disorder. I am a work in progress, and always will be. Yoga has helped me accept that. Just like I couldn’t do cool arm balances or inversions overnight, I can’t recover overnight or be the person God made me to be overnight. I have learned patience with myself, and I finally understand the word I have had tattooed on my wrist for 3 years…GRACE.


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Be in the Great Dance

July 8, 2017 in Recovery

I’ve spent so much of my time fighting. Fighting my body, fighting the thoughts in my head. I was swimming against in the current, gripping so tightly onto things that did not serve my soul. I didn’t know how to be in the great dance.

This yoga teacher training has brought up several emotions for me. Joy, gratitude, anxiety, sadness, stress, past memories. It is not easy, but my god is it one of the most humbling experiences and greatest things I have ever done.

I’m learning how to be in this great dance of life. Sometimes I lose my footing… a lot of the times actually. But some days I’m the best damn dancer out there.

Being here has taught me so much. Things I already knew, things I needed to be reminded of, things I have learned.

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I’m learning to take off my armor. Keeping my doors down and layers light for when I do, I can fully see what is real and true. I can cultivate peace in all aspects of my life. I can be in this great dance- stumbling, falling, laughing, tripping, sweating, moving with grace and somedays moving with awkwardness.

I’m learning this balance between pushing myself and relaxing. Somedays I want to dance until my feet ache, and somedays all I want to do is twirl around in a circle and call it a day. When I am in this great dance, I won’t have judgment for the days I just want to twirl around and move slow. I’ll simply twirl with grace and ease.

In this great dance I don’t always fully love myself. But I accept myself. And I remember all the love I carry in my heart- and how I always deserve that love too. So I dance with love and gratitude for the limbs beneath me, for without them, I couldn’t even dance.

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In this great dance, I dance from my heart. For it has carried me through adversity and has led me to the things I love.

-heart space-
.
When your heart has been clouded with fog and darkness, you have two choices: to continue to live in that darkness, or to work to open the vessels of your heart and let that light pour in: overflowing with warmth and goodness.
It’s okay that madness and pain has overwhelmed you once tender heart. Your story isn’t calm or gracious- but the magic in your eyes and the way your mind glides through the thoughts that tear others down is courageous.
You learn to open the layers of your heart, unpacking hope and faith into each and every crevice.
This is how you learn to be that light that shines on the gloomiest of days. Through hurricanes and rainstorms, loss and ache; you elevated the bliss deep within your soul. 

I dance with bliss. I dance with resilience. I dance with courage and love. 

Tell me one new exciting thing in your life!! I miss blogging and I want to keep up with all of ya. Happy weekend!!

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Stop Food Shaming

June 22, 2017 in Balance / Recovery

STOP FOOD SHAMING… STOP. 

The other day I was viewing Instagram stories, and I saw someone shame another’s food choices. And to me it came off as they were “better” for eating that clean protein bar, and the other person was not as good for eating that Nature Valley bar.

There is NO good or bad food. Food is just food. And I am so tired of seeing this message being spread on social media platforms. 

My instant reaction to that Instagram story was frustration. This is why our society has such an unhealthy relationship with food. When we are constantly hearing different foods that are good for us and foods that are bad for us, we start to view food as such a black and white thing. And in order to have a balanced relationship with food, you need to be able to see the grey areas.

Yes, an RX bar is more nutritious than a Nature Valley one, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a Nature Valley bar. It is still fuel, it still has some wholesome ingredients, and they are cheaper than RX bars. Nature Valley bars are not bad, and RX bars are not good. These bars are just snack bars to give our bodies fuel. That’s it. You are not a better person if you chose to eat the RX bar over the Nature Valley bar. Our morality is not tied to the foods we eat, and we often lose sight of that. If you want to eat the RX bar because you actually enjoy it and it feels good for your body, then by all means eat it! But do not go vocalizing to others and in your own head how that Nature Valley bar is bad and “unhealthy.” Because it is not.

What happens when we fall into the food shaming mentality? 

Viewing certain foods as good and bad is detrimental to our mental health. When we view a food as bad, we have the tendency to put that food off limits. And when we say that we cannot have something, our natural instinct as humans is to want that more. What does that lead to? Bingeing. When we also put that “bad” food off limits, it can also just lead to us thinking about it over and over again causing our head space to get a bit foggier and our overall state of happiness to decline.

Viewing food as just food. 

I hardly ever see this mentality around food anymore. Food is such a complicated, messy topic that causes so much stress and anxiety in people’s lives. But the thing is, it shouldn’t. I strongly believe food shaming has a lot to do with it, not to mention the diet industry and unrealistic beauty expectations. But what would happen if we viewed food as just food? No good, no bad. Just looking at food as fuel. Obviously there is the more nutritious food and the “fun” food. But maybe if we worked on being in tune with our bodies and allowing ourselves food from both categories, people’s relationship with food would begin to improve. When we aren’t labeling what we eat as good and bad, it’s also easier to be compassionate to ourselves. Whenever I ate a “bad” food, I felt disgusted with myself. I hated myself for consuming such a disgusting thing and all the love for myself went out the window. But when we eat a cookie and aren’t labeling it as bad, we can be more kind with ourselves. “I just ate that cookie and I LOVED it. It was so good and such a yummy snack to have!” There is no talk about the cookie being bad and any guilt surrounding that cookie. It is just talk of enjoyment! And that’s how it should be.

Food is not like people. There is no good or bad. 

When we think of people, we often label them as good and bad. A good person may have remarkable qualities like being kind, respectful, loving, and caring. And a bad person may have less admirable qualities like being rude, dishonest, vengeful, and irresponsible. These qualities come to mind when I think of good and bad people. So why would we label food the same way that we label people? Are sweet potatoes loving and caring but white potatoes aren’t? You see what I mean?? At the end of the day, it sounds so silly to use this food shaming mentality. Because all food is is just food. It is nourishment. That’s it. No bad, no good. It gives us life, it gives us energy, and it keeps us going. 

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Keep growing good thoughts in your brain. About yourself, about this world, about food, about your body.

// only grow thoughts in your brain that you wouldn’t mind putting in a vase //

Any comments or discussion on this is welcome in the comments as always!!

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My Anxiety + Some Ways that I Cope

June 12, 2017 in Recovery

It’s Mondayyyyyy. This weekend was so much fun because I got to go to a concert on Thursday and Friday with my best friends!! I love concerts and music SO much. (Fun fact about me) Maybe I’ll do a fun fact post soon enough if y’all want to see that.

Last night I was watching Ted Talks on anxiety, and this is a topic that I hold very close to my heart.

  1. I am on anxiety medication. I struggle with anxiety. I have struggled with bad anxiety since I was 15.
  2. So many people do struggle with anxiety. And there is nothing to be ashamed about if you do struggle.

Saturday I was relaxing yet I felt restless. Itching to crawl out of my skin and my mind bombarded with an array of thoughts. This is not unusual for me. This happens to me sometimes, and I am not ashamed to admit it. I get anxious. I struggle. I have to calm myself down.

I wrote this in my journal on Saturday:

//I think the feeling I have in my chest right now is restlessness. I’m here on this deck right now and my mind is in 50 million different places. It’s hard. I know this is anxiety. The feeling of worry, the feeling of dread and like I’m not doing things right.//

Looking back on this after a few days I know I was definitely dreading work that day. Work has left me feeling a bit stressed- that and the fact that I’m taking off for a month because I’m like… omg, time is just going to fly before my eyes. I am a dreamer. I have a lot of things I want to do and I stack my plate pretty dang high, then I freak and am like oh my gosh what I am doing trapped inside the walls of GNC all the time. But trust in his plan, right? I have to pull myself back from this worry and just BREATHE. So I decided to relax on my hammock, I journaled, read my book, and napped. I rejoiced in the time I had to just be and did things to better myself.

I wish I could tell you a cure to just feel at peace all the time and never have anxiety, but I can’t. I have had panic attacks, I have been plagued by social anxiety- I’ve had the whole 9 yards. The quivering hands, tight chest, shaking from a crippling anxiety attack leaving me weak and gasping for air.

Anxiety is not something I have talked a lot on this blog, and I want to put in more of an effort to do so. There are so many individuals struggling with an anxious mind and having anxiety is nothing to be embarrassed about. But please, please understand that anxiety is not just the average worry. Anxiety is when this worry consumes you and takes over the quality of your life.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with taking medication. It receives a negative stigma for sure, but gosh has my anxiety and depression medication saved my life. (along with therapy of course). Besides medication, I use a few other tools to help me stay calm:

  1. ESSENTIAL OILS frankincense_1024x1024-1

Frankincense is one of my favorite oils. This is commonly used for meditation.

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Lavender smells amazing. I love putting a drop of this on my pillow before I got to bed or rubbing it on my wrists. Lavender has sedative effects which helps for those nights when your mind won’t stop racing.

For my oils, I use an essential oil diffuser. But I also rub them on my wrists and feet or put a drop or two on my pillow?

Want to find these oils? These are my favorite brand. Buy them from my link here!

2. Writing

Writing is another thing that calms me down. Remembering that my journal is a judgment free zone is CRUCIAL. I can write how I feel, I can write whatever pours out of my heart into the pencil and not feel ashamed for doing so.

3. Music

Music holds an important place in my life. There are a lot of artists I love and genuinely speak to my heart. (Nahko and Medicine for the People, Trevor Hall, Jack Johnson, SOJA)

Putting on my favorite Spotify playlists and just listening to music helps me take a step back from my crowded mind.

4. Yoga

You guys know how much I love yoga. But gosh does it do so much good for not only my body, but my mind. I am thrilled to be taking on the long but rewarding journey of getting certified to teach yoga so I can share my love for this practice with others.

5. Reading quotes

Tumblr and Pinterest have some of my favorites.

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That’s it for today guys. 

Share some thoughts about this on here. Let’s keep this conversation about mental health rollin’. Any thoughts are so appreciated!! 

Enjoy your start to the week!

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